S387. From soul love to soul rest


I read your text on the soul love website. It was such a revelation for me, so recognizable, I finally get words for an intense and deep love experience, which I have not understood for 25 years (I am now 49 years old). I have had several relationships and love experiences in the meantime, but as fierce as when I was 24, I have never experienced it again and I thought it had to do with my inexperienced age.

But that is not the case, now I recognize all the characteristics of the website soul love, twinflame, whatever you call it, that does not matter. It’s about the feeling, the essence. At the age of 24, my feeling was so total, intense, incomprehensible, confusing, overwhelming and confronting, all at once. That strong feeling that I indeed already knew him and he me was intuitively so incredibly strong and I did not know what I based it on. I came across him again some time between the ages of 35 and 40 on the train on my way to work, and nothing had changed in terms of intensity. On the contrary, the same intense feeling on my part that I could not deal with, was afraid of and still pulled me like a magnet, as if I were naked in his presence. And not even in a sexual sense, but in my essence and being, core of Being. It felt like another dimension, for which I had no words, frankly. It was an overwhelming, strong emotional, intense emotional bond, and words were superfluous, would only make everything more complex.

It is so nice that I finally find words, recognition and recognition, because it has put a big mark on my life and has been very guiding. And maybe that was the intention, afterwards, I don’t know. But I really struggled incredibly with it, and yet, a relationship was out of the question (he was married and I later had a relationship), but I didn’t know and know how to handle those feelings, I didn’t understand anything about it back then, not the man in question and neither was my friend at the time. Frankly, tropical years.

My deepest desire has been for years to express myself about this experience, to get rid of it. At the time I became so entangled in those confusing, intense feelings of attraction and repulsion that I no longer want to see him and also unexpectedly encounter in the city or at the station. Such intense soul love is something incredible to experience, wonderful, complex, confusing and confronting. Now that I have read some of these experiential stories, I can place and accept my confused feelings much better and finally, after 25 years, I will feel sad. Such a bath of love for someone I didn’t even know well and yet felt so close, like my family, so close that I didn’t feel any protection, the energy went straight and directly to my heart, no choice. Everything or nothing.

Now I see that through him a reflection or sneak preview of my true, authentic Being, source, being, essence appeared to me, which I was afraid of for years and therefore preferably walked as far away as possible. And as long as I could not see, embrace and acknowledge myself, my source and true being, there was no room to process this experience. Well now, after reading these stories, I have started the process of acceptance, peace and acceptance and a very great gratitude for being in my life and for me having such a rich, special, difficult and intense experience has given.