It was on a cold November day that I was standing at his door for a tour of a committee.
His eyes!! Amai never experienced that I have been in eye contact with such a person. Thought in my own “Where do I know you from?” No idea how it went, I went on with it .. Mama was there too. “Wow amai, what a handsome guy, and those eyes” Months afterwards, things went downhill with me. Got health problems. And got a disease stamped, chronic for life.
July 2010 Half a year had passed .. And log me into some community on the web. Get a notification, from a boy three years older than me, on one of my photos. I respond back .. And suddenly it goes so far that I ask where he is. Comes from the same village! Wow, how funny . Added me to Facebook. And I asked for his MSN. He came online, saw a profile picture, and was told somewhere inside that I was going to marry him. Where I got that from, really no idea.We always had such nice conversations, it seems as if we have known each other for years! The following days I did not hear him. I was so sad, I really didn’t know what was wrong with me. I heard and saw his name everywhere. And thought, “alléz?” Strange, really strange, say! I also got up with him and went to sleep with it. I liked him and he me.
2010-2011. My illness went uphill. I’m doing so well! Where I got that positivity, really no idea. I still had him in my head, that he is the cause of this … “Something is helping me so hard, in this.” I thought to myself. “Fate”.
2011-2012 I found out that the boy with whom I “chat” is the boy with whom I had such a crazy eye contact. I once asked if we could see each other. Somehow, he responded that he was busy. I thought it was a shame. And hadn’t asked for it anymore. Was it always so strange why he was always so busy? Why not just meet up sometime? We don’t live far apart, do we? Oh well, I still had daily “chat contact” And sometimes I saw him cycling to work. But was too shy to say “hi”.
October2012: Health is stable to myself, It is still going very well. One day I wanted to meet again, and he told me on that very day that he didn’t feel like it, because of his father getting sick. And start getting angry. “Are you really a game, playing with me” I thought to myself. But somehow, I wasn’t mad at all, I just couldn’t be mad at him !! And we just kept in touch.
March 2013. I land on someone’s facebook, with a film suggestion: “One day” Watch the trailer, and found it so moving .. That it keeps playing in my head. Something, also sends me that I have to look for “soulmates-twinflames”, now strange? He is the one, he must really be the man I am getting married with!
April 2013: He gets fired, “Finally” I thought to myself, who knows, maybe we can agree on something. And yes, somewhere in April we agreed for the very first time, on a beautiful sunny day; we went to eat an ice cream. The first thing that struck me were his eyes, his eyes really appeal to me. he gave me a huge handshake, and said his name. and I mine. And we walked for about 3 hours. It was such a beautiful moment, we were really talking about everything! I didn’t want to go home, it was so nice to be with. Once home, I really thought .. I think you are so cool! I miss you already. He found his job a week later. But the rut starts here. He is not doing well. The rejection starts enormously here, and I have all the misery that you can imagine. “Maybe I should remove you it is done ”I thought to myself. Those games, always too !! Damn it anyway. All of a sudden I get a message how it goes? Huh what ?! I dreamed or something? At that moment, that I wanted to throw him out of my life. We had such fun again, and I thought again. How can I be so stupid now? Remove someone from my life like this, simply impossible!
April 2013-December 2013 In these months, it was not going well for him, he repelled me enormously, he was fired for his new work in December. And I in September. I began to evolve “spiritually” in these months. Clear vision and clear knowledge. I also feel that we are experiencing the same, feel his pain .. etc etc .. And I started to read more about this! and ended up on this beautiful site. I was able to meet him again at the end of December. “Phew, finally” We went for a drink, and again had the greatest fun! After I got home, and the days after, I really started to miss him. So terrible that it went bad.
January 2014. Two or three weeks ago, I asked if we could possibly meet again. “Nice” he said, enthusiastically and we would do that on a Sunday. I wanted to tell him that I miss him incredibly, I wanted to expose my feelings. All well and good. Until I get a text message that it cannot go on, because he had promised his father something ?! Come on! I cried with tears. Maybe he had felt what I wanted to tell him? he is not ready for it at all, I thought to myself. I just ignored him myself. And get signs again, from “above” with his name, I also see his car everywhere every time. Something tells me I can never forget him. I know he’s not ready for it by far. I have told him carefully that he is my mirror. And that everything will be alright. I believe we will get married someday I will never drop it either. There are other boys too, for whom I had exactly the same feelings. Been on my path during 2010-2013. From which my ego emerged. But no it really didn’t work. “I will marry the boy of my village someday” And that will never change .. now and sometime we really get married, Every you, and every me.