S362. Dreaming and learning to feel

Unknown

There you are, born by your parents. The one unwanted the other welcome. As a child you learn norms and values ​​from your parents / guardians as they find them normal. You get the necessary knowledge at school. For one person it is easier than for the other. Only then does the big life really begin. Already in the meantime a lot can have happened in our youth and do you sometimes ask yourself “why me and does it happen to the other person”? Every house has its cross as the saying goes. But what does that say about your own feeling, is there a learning school for this? If only it were true, everyone should learn this in his / her own way. Ready for the future or is there more to it? One is driven and ambitious and the other goes for house, tree and animal.

For me it is a hodgepodge beforehand. As early as my childhood I knew that I was different from others, was always busy with new challenges. I call it pushing boundaries. With technology as a passion, nothing is impossible. Not so strange, because this was brought to me by my father, who was born unwanted by his parents. From him I got all the space, possibilities to fully develop myself. Something for which I am still terribly grateful to him today. Perhaps too little said to him, but always experienced and understood.

With this knowledge you work on a future, one that you would like to share with your partner. A future for a good life in this harsh society full of envy. Your girlfriend will eventually become your wife, you get married and become inexperienced and dream about a wonderful future together.

The years pass and apparently you have to order a dream, it will be different if you had hoped. You walk under your arm with your soul. Is this it? Are we happy together? Where do we miss our connection together, what next? After a difficult time with my partner at the time (depression with years of medication) and a lack of child wish, we try to build a new life together. We leave for a location in the “middle of nowhere” as our friends call it. Rest with work in and around the house to ground. Really a wonderful place. My father also contributed a lot to this. He helped us a lot, a lot. For this I am eternally grateful to him for being able to enjoy this every day. Unfortunately he can no longer enjoy it here, but he looks over my shoulder from above and watches over my daughter and me. That’s how I feel. And what happens spontaneously in the middle of the renovation? My then wife becomes pregnant. YES. Both so intensely happy with our daughter. But a few years later everything returns to normal. We apparently live on autopilot again as brother and sister. Real love is not forthcoming. No matter how crazy it sounds, intensely happy with my daughter but not with our marriage. We put an end to that. A divorce, however sad, is the result. We apparently live on autopilot again as brother and sister. Real love is not forthcoming. No matter how crazy it sounds, intensely happy with my daughter but not with our marriage. We put an end to that. A divorce, however sad, is the result. We apparently live on autopilot again as brother and sister. Real love is not forthcoming. No matter how crazy it sounds, intensely happy with my daughter but not with our marriage. We put an end to that. A divorce, however sad, is the result.

Now more than three years later… My ex and daughter have a wonderful home where they both feel at home and my daughter is doing great at school. I myself experienced a great highlight during the same period that really felt like a dream. Let me just say “the feeling of coming home” !!! I came across her (my dream woman) for a reason (Match Made In Heaven). But unfortunately not without tuition fees. I let myself be carried away in a friendship in which I have shortened my dream woman and have not listened to my feelings enough. In that friendship, I met a woman who demanded all attention. She was also from a divorce. My attention was corn on her mill, but as it turns out, it didn’t take me further. Everything had to make way for her future. I thought I could help her, but I now realize that everyone can only help themselves. Find help and work on your own future. My feeling never lied in this, but I just didn’t dare to trust it. How wrong it can sometimes go. My dream woman, with whom I have known an overwhelming time, everything looked like the perfect dream. Often I thought “May this really feel like this, is this REAL”? Loaded with love, care and everything that goes with it. Soulmates .. Together we experienced highs but also lows. Emotions, you name it. To this day, I am sorry that it went that way and should have felt better. How wrong it can sometimes go. My dream woman, with whom I have known an overwhelming time, everything looked like the perfect dream. Often I thought “May this really feel like this, is this REAL”? Loaded with love, care and everything that goes with it. Soulmates .. Together we experienced highs but also lows. Emotions, you name it. To this day, I am sorry that it went that way and should have felt better. How wrong it can sometimes go. My dream woman, with whom I have known an overwhelming time, everything looked like the perfect dream. Often I thought “May this really feel like this, is this REAL”? Loaded with love, care and everything that goes with it. Soulmates .. Together we experienced highs but also lows. Emotions, you name it. To this day, I am sorry that it went that way and should have felt better.

I saw her blossom, love, passion, food, clothing and even a vacation. Everything fitted in the picture “DREAM”. We could sit on the phone for hours with each other, a moment of silence on the line was a rarity. Everything but also everything was negotiable. The walks we took, the weekends away, our intimacy, I can look back on everything with just one feeling, super! Someone I want to grow old with, who has given me handles. Everything out of love that I have been looking for all this time. Soul love regularly came up in our conversations. We experience it that way, every time I still feel it. Without words … How she feels, how I feel and during our conversations that we still occasionally have, I feel her strength and love. Occasionally a message such as “What is it?” She now has another boyfriend, understandable and I respect that too. But deep in my heart I hope to be able to explain to her what she means to me and what I feel about her. Now I know, oh so well. For her, something like this will be very difficult to explain to her family and acquaintances, nobody will understand this until we agree on this for the outside world. This is what everyone can take with you, listen to your feelings, that never lies!

Dare to trust it! As long as this special feeling does not stop for me, I can never really be open to anyone else. Really in one word: “SOUL LOVE”.