S335. So confusing



I suspect that I am also dealing with the twinflame phenomenon for a long time. With us, too, everything happened in secret. It often happened that we “played a game” in front of other people. Behind the scenes we knew that this was never meant. I think it got out of hand there.

At a certain moment I went through a very uncertain period (including family events). At the same time, my twin also hurt me a lot. I no longer seemed to meet her requirements, I no longer matched ‘the group’. I was too young at the time to realize that her ego was at work here.

I believed in her so much that I started to doubt myself very much. I didn’t feel good enough for her. I no longer understood it all. What went wrong?

The only thing I wanted was to make her happy, to be there for her. As stupid as I was, I began to make an effort to belong to the group and be tough. I tried to talk to her but later she completely ignored me.

I started to doubt even more: maybe I saw it as a dream because everything didn’t seem so special to her. The band seemed so real and so valuable. I didn’t know what to do anymore. I decided to throw everything that had to do with the energy world overboard: it was my fantasy. In addition, I no longer wanted to be dependent on her. Since then I crawled further in my ego with all its consequences. I no longer saw myself.

I had some friends later but nothing was the same. I also did not understand that the thought of her came back. I’ve been trying to let it go ever since but it doesn’t seem to stop.

At the moment it’s still difficult for me to bring up my true self and to let go of my ego. In the meantime I have had a hard time with that. On a social level, on a love level, .. I often cannot tolerate intimacy and push everything away.

I try to open up again and show my heart. Although that is very difficult. In addition, the whole situation is sometimes very difficult for me to comprehend. It is so intense, confusing and sometimes I can’t take it anymore.

With kind regards,

If you do not know what you have done wrong, then you have not done anything wrong. You cannot control everything. If that were the case then there would be no surprises anymore. Things just work the way they do. Who knows, she may have consciously made the decision to let go.