S352. I don’t dare, I’m afraid of the consequences

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Slowly and carefully in the last 2 to 3 years we are building a friendship. I do not trust him 100% yet and I have let myself
be known. I have also been very vulnerable. We were out together and a woman looked at us in a very surprised way and said that she
saw something between us, a special chemistry and that we just looked like brother and sister. I jokingly said yes maybe in a past life. But it made me
think, because I already thought about him every day and always wanted to spend time with him for years. For a while I started to wonder what
this meant because I already have a good and loving relationship with someone else. However, the time I spend with him are feelings of me
purity deep peace and tranquility and living in the now. We are not often with 2 people alone and often in a group, but that does not even matter, as long as he is there
. Now the penny has fallen after this woman’s remark. I went home and the next day he sends me a text the moment
I think about him. We sent some messages back and forth as we often do, along the lines of everything
good. However, the night after his text, I was under the influence and I sent him many messages. Funny things but at the same time
the sentence: are we destined? And what is being destined then? Where this came from and why I did this no idea …. Only the day after that am I
look up everything about twinflames. I had never heard of it and learned about it. Over the past few years I have started
analyzing our relationship based on information on the internet and I am almost certain that it is him. For example, I was at a festival a few months ago and
he wasn’t there. A friend turned around and said in astonishment: “woow you look really like” … “and she continued with what she was doing. “
Things like that have happened more often, and certainly because of the woman’s last recent comment, something exploded and it seemed as if we both knew,
what we knew I only discovered 2 days later when I went to look up the info. So we don’t pronounce this and even though I feel he knows it
there is also something, I am ashamed of my vulnerable messages that I have sent him. I am afraid that he and his friends are reading them aloud and are
joking and so my current partner is being ridiculed. I want to stay with my partner but I want to find out more about this
special experience. Would I ever ask him as a joke if I ever come by in his dreams? He has been with me regularly
and sometimes gave me an intense hug in my dream, for example. Or should I leave him alone for the time being after the rather unintended and violent
message sent to him from me and especially after the violent moment that remark from that woman brought about between us?
It seemed as if time stood still and all matter stood still, so intense so slow motion so special, indescribable. I am afraid to break
something that seems to be something very big because of the intensive and frank contact that I have sought … One day later I saw my current partner again .. he
came out of nowhere with the story that I shouldn’t do that much anymore could deal with him for various reasons, this while he first
saw a potential friendship in him .. I got mad at my partner, and said he got ridiculous things in his head, but actually
I was mad at my own confusion and surprised that my partner also feels that something is wrong … I have not been honest yet
about what I am experiencing .. I dare not, am afraid of the consequences …