From my younger years I have felt loneliness, due to circumstances that I will not mention here. I remember back then that I already knew that somewhere here on earth there was someone who belonged to me, with whom I was 1 and who loved me unconditionally. Later I translated that into the earthly fact that that would be my (future) husband. During my marriage I sometimes thought back to that, but my husband’s feeling was different from what I imagined in my younger years. Given the circumstances I left home very young and married with my 1st big love. Someone who, now that I know after 30 years of being together, my rock was in the surf, my big strong oak tree, the one with whom I could grow and be who I am today. After so many years together, in prosperity and a great deal of adversity, having achieved what many people only dream of, I suddenly came across my twin. A few years ago I read a column somewhere about hidden loneliness among women, women who apparently achieved everything in their lives, social, health and happiness, but who felt an unprecedented loneliness because they should be happy according to the outside world but were not . And I recognized myself in that story and it was a shock to me. I felt unhappy, in fact, I felt utterly unhappy despite everything I had experienced, endured but ultimately achieved in my life. My husband found me ungrateful and did not understand it. Now I know that I have always been looking for my twin, unaware that it was there, and that we have a goal / destination together. That everything I experienced in my life had the purpose of learning my lessons so that I could finally go on with my twin forever. Now I am in a sort of intermediate phase, break or whatever you want to call it. The 1 has not yet been completed (by me or by my twin or by both? And the other is not allowed to start yet. My rock in the surf, the father of my children will soon no longer be there but know it myself (still) not (consciously?), but I do have a hard time! Although we have been going through life for years as a brother / sister, it is unthinkable for me to leave him for my twin, which I hardly know at earth level, in fact my twin has only hurt me on an earthly level so far, I also think he still has too much trouble with his ego a has to learn / complete. Difficult, tough, but I have every confidence in the right timing determined by ‘upstairs’ and I hope that my twin will also find the peace to finish everything well!
Despite the fact that this period is the toughest of my life, and I have really experienced a lot, my search, my loneliness, has come to an end! I know that my twin and I are destined to come together in this life and that we have a common mission.
My angels once drew my attention to a song lyrics “Dreams come true once in a while, from Marco”, and I don’t doubt that that will happen!