S187. It makes me happy and gives me confidence


It was on a course. I saw him and thought what a strange man he is. He made no contact with me during the introductory round. He had a certain distance himself. Did not want to allow me. I thought it was strange. During an exercise we still met and suddenly he started telling me his life story. The only thing I did was listen. He became emotional and asked if he could hug me. It went without saying. And that’s how we sat for a while. Very strange, it felt very familiar and not at all crazy.
It felt like coming home. Very trusting. We actually wanted to be together all the time. Hold each other.

The feelings for each other were very special, indescribable. We were both in a relationship, so we couldn’t fully express these feelings to each other.
My partner understood. But at the same time found it very threatening. And found it difficult if we had an appointment

An obstacle is that we cannot give in to the love we feel for each other, because the environment does not understand it and it is perceived as threatening by our partners.

We actually have a love relationship wish. But we also don’t want to hurt our partners. We call each other occasionally. This is not really what we want. But it’s nice to talk to each other occasionally. And to know what the other person is doing.

It’s nice that someone is walking around who loves you unconditionally. It makes me happy and gives me confidence.

What I found most special was the moment that we both realized that this was not just a crush. But that it is real love. Who comes from your toes. A state of being in which you want to stay. You don’t want to lose the feeling. If it is not there, then I feel as if I am not complete.

We have occasional contact. We miss each other enormously.