S175. It has brought me that I have experienced love again, but never before. And that I can shine again


We got to know each other on a terrace on the beach. Only later did I feel it was my soulmate, I thought, it felt so familiar, he was in love, but he didn’t want to commit. Felt when I went on vacation how much I missed him, he also me, I never came in 1st or 2nd or 3rd place. He did not come to me, he also said that we were soulmates, at one point I saw him less and less, he looked a lot at other women which hurt me, I often broke up but still we got together again or release him, I am in a release process and hurt me a lot, last week I saw him with another woman I could not imagine this, was it all not true what he had said?
I am in a relationship that is not good I have told nothing

My feeling said this is a love that I have never experienced before, it is someone who has Borderline traits but despite everything I love his soul, nobody understands this I am in the release process, I do not understand anything of it, I let it go I don’t hear from me anymore and he didn’t, I saw him with another woman, he wished me the best wishes for 2009, I don’t understand a thing at all, I am very sad, I want to continue on one side but on the other I love to see him.

Twice a month we saw each other, we shared things about nature, etc., and we have also been intimate. I don’t understand how things can go between us. He has also hurt me a lot but I accepted that.

An obstacle was that he did not want to commit. He wanted his freedom. He didn’t stand up for me. He was sometimes ugly to me, which I didn’t understand. I felt familiarity. Obstacles of mine were that I wanted more than a companion. That I often broke up, that is, that I often let go of him. In the end he could not handle this. If we had seen each other then it was good. Then he pushed me away again. After this I started to doubt whether he was my soulmate because how else could he do that.

I wanted a love affair, but according to him he could not give love, but he could sometimes be so sweet.

I let him go in love but this is sometimes difficult for me. This is the best. Otherwise I get confused. And he has another woman, of whom I don’t understand anything, so quickly again, wasn’t it all true?

It has brought me that I have experienced love again, but never before. And that I can shine again.

The most special thing to me is the confidence, as if we had known each other for a long time. And sharing things and my vision.
For me, soul love feels like an intense love, unconditional love. But sometimes I couldn’t do this because I felt he couldn’t do this. He said he loved himself.

That the relationship has ended, I see as a loss but I always saw him briefly. I often wondered, does he have more women? I couldn’t handle his lifestyle. This is at the expense of myself. But I miss him. And I don’t know if he misses me. He has another.

I am looking for a soulmate again where there is equality, someone who is good to me and not when it suits him a buddy with whom you do nice things respect each other