S157. Emotions that I have never experienced come out now


I “rediscovered” my soul love after my vacation, it came back in full force, now that I am back in the Netherlands and he lives in that other country, I feel inexplicably attracted, and my feeling tells me that he feels that too. The moment was in the little things. Sitting together on the couch, saying goodbye to each other, walking together. Saying nothing but my thoughts made overtime.
I experience soul love as recognition, as if I already knew him in a previous life. The bond that we have existed since childhood. He already protected me back then, was always around me, took care of me no matter how young we were. When I saw him again after 18 years, I felt that bond again. Only it went deeper, my stomach turned around I just wanted to be with him, touch him. After my return to the Netherlands we had close contact, we texted that we loved each other, that there was more than just the family connection. He suddenly stopped the boat. It didn’t get that hot anymore. He is someone who finds it difficult to expose his emotions and he also realizes that we are family, I am married with 2 children and live here in NL. I now feel that he really is my soulmate / true love. You can feel that, it goes so deep, feeling is sooooo intense, indescribable.

I’ve been in the same relationship for 18 years. I have been married for 7 years, but my marriage has fallen very badly after the birth of the children. There was just something missing , harmony, understanding, emotion. Something I really crave. He can’t change it, he says. After I have seen my soul love I know that I have changed and my husband notices that, but I cannot tell, because how should I explain to my partner if I do not even understand what this feeling does to me?

So far, the relationship with my soul love is a little more than friendly. We do not dare to continue because of my (aforementioned) circumstances. I am open to it, I must admit. I now have a very deep and intense relationship with him, albeit over the phone (unfortunately). For me it is not really satisfactory, I just want to see him again, I do not know for him, he wants to see me and the children, but I dare not say how intense he feels.
So we have no love affair because that is not possible. I am married, have children and live in another country like him. However, he is single. It is not easy.
I think we want a love affair, but I don’t get the hang of him. If I get too close, he gently repels me. But I keep my distance, he looks closer. I would give up everything, with the exception of my children, to have it for myself yes.

He brought me certainty as crazy as that may sound. He loves me the way I am , he stands up for me, protects me. Because of him I have lost so much weight that I have now become much more confident and assertive. And happier too.

What I found most special was the moment we sat on the couch together, I put my head on his shoulders, he put a hand on my hip. There was no talk, that silence was sufficient, and the moment we met again after 18 years. The feeling you have then… indescribable. We knew many silences while I didn’t like that, but now I felt comfortable with it.

The soul love feeling is intense, indescribable to me. Emotions that I have never experienced come out now.

I think that if we are really destined for each other, it will probably be alright. Time will tell.

My tip is; Write down your feelings. You can’t explain to anyone else how you feel except for your soul love, but sometimes it doesn’t work, write down all your deepest emotions. You will see what comes out. Tears of sorrow but also of joy and happiness because you have found your soul love.