S144. You will love yourself more if you make the right choices


We’ve known each other for several years, he’s a friend of my husband’s and they have a business relationship. He is married. About a year ago we met at a sponsor evening. We talked for a moment and suddenly I had very strong feelings for him, but he clearly tightened and withdrew. I am often ‘highly flammable’ and thought that this was also a flirtation …, forgot the whole incident. Until a few months later, we had been out with a couple of friends and he started to drive me in the car on the way home. caress. I grabbed his hand and it felt like a very long, intimate kiss, we touched each other without the others noticing. When we arrived at my house, he kissed me, but I was very shocked and fled inside.

The period that followed was very confusing. He called me the next day after the incident to apologize. I asked him if he had drunk too much or perhaps needed a certain intimacy. He didn’t answer that. He felt 16 again and had never had such feelings . I was not sure what to do with it and broke the connection.
The following weeks called and texted each other every day, we only talked about ‘us’, never about our real life. We longed for each other intensely.
My husband only knows that I find him attractive and that the feeling is mutual. He is not jealous because he is certain that I will not leave him.

I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, just think about him, I had to tell him how I felt about him. We agreed to talk things over and although I longed for him and he for me, we decided not to sleep with each other. We love our own partners too much to hurt and deceive them. It was the only time we actually talked about it, after that we still had contact, but not every day, until he asked me not to call or text him anymore. I did, but when we saw each other my feelings for him remained very deep, we circled around each other until we were so close together that we just didn’t touch each other.

The major obstacle in our relationship was our love for our partners and our children. We did not want to hurt or leave them, I was not unhappy in my relationship and he was not in his.

Of course we would have liked a love affair, but that was not possible. I had felt something for a secret affair, not him. It would make everything even more complicated.

We only met sporadically, mostly with my husband, his wife usually stays at home. When we see each other he reacts differently, one time he acts aloof and even hurt, the other time he is very sweet and warm. But the goodbye is always very dear.

I still don’t really know if this is soul love. I have never felt such a thing for someone , not even for my own husband, with whom I have been together for about 25 years.

The whole experience was very special, but also very confusing. My life shook to its foundations. When I am with him it feels so familiar, so senang, as if I can always be myself. I see myself when I look into his eyes, it is a feeling of recognition, of love but also of sadness. I still like it so much …

The only erotic experience was in the beginning, after that we only kissed each other when greeting and saying goodbye. We never touched each other again, but I think our being together would be very intense. I would totally surrender to him, want to go beyond all borders.

My soul love feeling is beautiful and confusing at the same time. Very intense, but strangely enough as if it were another life besides our own ‘real’ life.

I would have loved to have had a real relationship with him, but perhaps that is not yet possible for us.
The last time I saw him, he and his wife were in love. He clearly showed me that he had chosen for her. It broke my heart, then I didn’t see him again.
A few days ago we received an invitation for their 25-year wedding party. I wasn’t sad about it, it was a bit sad.

would not want such love anymore, this experience was so intense and so all-embracing. You only come across this love once in your life.

The strange thing, or not at all, is that during this period I was not at all unhappy. On the contrary, I was very happy with my husband, my children and with my life and perhaps it was that appearance that made things happen.

My Tip: I think you should always follow your heart, but not so far that you put others in the grief. When it comes to true soul love, it will be fine, you will love yourself more if you make the right choices.

Recently the man I am so attracted to gave his party. It was a party with a DJ and music “from our time”, so everyone was dancing. He, too, and I saw that he dances in the same way as I do myself, very sensually and physically. What a shock of recognition! I danced the whole evening with my own husband, also out of some kind of self-protection, but I honestly couldn’t stop looking at him. I was not jealous of the women he did dance with, it was rather a fascination, how is it possible that someone can look so much like yourself, not only in character and emotionally, but also in a physical expression. I am completely upset about it, even though I was quite upset by it and slowly trying to process it