S113. Fully allowed to be myself


t is unbelievable, I was in a very difficult time for myself, after treatment for breast cancer, and once in the bar and behind the bar was a woman clicked right away, I lingered until 5 o’clock in the morning and I finally had a feeling that someone felt what I felt. And thought what I thought, that was so beautiful, only it is annoying, she is lesbian and I do not know if I am, but I feel at home with her, I do not want to lose her, but she is really really in love on me. When they were about to lie down together in a bed, this really scared me off, I was married for 21 years (a difficult marriage, a lot of misunderstanding) and have a daughter, now I am going to see a psychotherapist to get everything straight. I think I have not yet processed the cancer,
With my soul love I felt wonderful and sooooooooooooooo familiar .

The relationship we had was … talking, talking and a little kissing no more! .. only by telephone, no this is not really satisfactory! My partner tries to understand but sometimes he is angry! My daughter disapproved, and it was very ugly about it !!!!

My soul love wants a love affair but I don’t know yet if I do share those lesbian feelings !!

What soul love has brought me is to have had the faith in 1 person and to be completely myself !!! The most special thing for me is the feeling that we understand each other so well, it was as if we had known each other for a long time!
We still have contact, but none, if I no longer had contact, I would feel lonely!