S095. There was no question of a choice


We knew each other from elementary school but had no contact for 25 years. After my name showed up at work, he sent an email and we decided to have lunch to catch up, nothing more. At first glance I found him unattractive, but after an hour of talking I knew I wanted to see him again. He said the most shocking things, talked about ideas that I myself had but that didn’t interest anyone. I felt incredible depth and an opening to unlimited insight.

This is how I have experienced soul love; J e twins find love is touched by God. Everything stands still, you are filled with love, also for others, with knowledge, insight, inspiration. I knew immediately: today I was born again. This love is unconditional and can never diminish. I was immediately certain because the difference was so obvious: I have had dozens of loves and still have worshipers, have been in love more often, constantly meet inspiring special people with whom I could / could have fallen in love. I deliberately and easily withheld earlier “minor” crushes during my marriage.
This is different; I belong to this man and I don’t even know why. Soul love cannot be expressed in words.We have been together for four years now and I am still lost as on the first day. For months I could not eat, hardly work, friends were worried about my health. My soul knows more than I do. Every day I cry with happiness at the thought of him. In recent years I have become more beautiful, even stronger, I have learned so much, I have developed so much more.

We see each other almost every week, if we are lucky for a few hours. Sometimes we don’t see each other for weeks, then I die a little. With a few text messages, I stand up. He feels the same to me, what we exchange messages, mail and poems, speaks of unconditional love . But we also have a lot of fun, we share humor and interests. He is so wise, so beautiful.

We have often considered telling our partners about our relationship. We genuinely love our partners. It also feels very unnatural and unfair not to be able to tell something so pure and beautiful to the whole world. But, and this site also confirms that, you cannot explain to anyone who has not experienced it. And certainly you cannot expect your partner’s understanding, or expect that he will not be sad. A twinflame relationship far exceeds a physical relationship, does not even need this, but at the same time is so infinitely intimate that your partner must feel abandoned. IT IS NOT FOREIGN, but how should you explain that? So we keep balancing on the narrow thread where we spared our partners as much as possible without starving ourselves. I don’t know how long this will work. But I can’t stand this force and I don’t want to resist it either. When I have to leave my twin love, the light in my soul goes out.

It is often very difficult. We are both convinced that our love is forever, will continue to exist after our death and was already there before our birth. We do not believe in time and space, but in cyclical growth. We are surprised by our sometimes “high-pitched” statements and considerations, but it feels so logical. Yet we both have tough jobs in an international and highly rational and business environment. But we are also both musicians and philosophers and both scientifically committed.
We both immediately opted unconditionally for each other, with full awareness of the pain that this would bring irrevocably, given our existing relationships. But there was no choice; a gift from God is beyond human consideration. By the way, I am not religious, but only consider God the creative force that we cannot comprehend but can perceive.

Our current relationship is more than I could ever have wished for, but I always miss him and would love to share the wonders of the world with him. If we were free, it was easy. But hurting others does not fit the purity of this love. I still have to learn how to handle it better . He has less trouble with it. I have to learn to accept something much greater than myself, to surrender to it . It’s getting better and better. Furthermore, the future will tell. So, despite all the worries that you get for free: I wish everyone to experience this. It is the purest fulfillment of life that you can imagine.