It started with a tingling in my stomach every time I saw him. It was strange because we had no contact. I didn’t particularly like or like him either. It just tingled and I had no control over it. I don’t know if my soulmate felt that way. I think so, although he may not have realized that my presence caused that. We ‘saw’ each other every day when I brought my son to school.
I was married at the time and lived with my husband and two children. It was striking that the tingling started about a week after I decided to end my marriage. For several years I tried to maintain this relationship, in which I was not happy. About a week before the autumn break, I got the hang of it and I decided to end my relationship.
During the autumn holidays I remembered a dream I had in the spring of 1995. There was an agreement between the person I met in that dream and my soulmate. Tingling began after the autumn holiday. Every time I saw him (or better: secretly observed) I tried to remember more. But there was no visual recognition, no physical memory that came up.
It initially felt like a normal crush, although I thought it was strange that there was no reason for it, no spark that had jumped into an intimate conversation or something of that nature. Very silly.
In the meantime, I was talking to my husband about how to proceed with us; what we did and did not want to continue to do together; how we were going to live, etc. In the end we chose to get a divorce, although he still has a hard time with that. As far as I am aware of this, there is no relationship between my decision to divorce and the encounter with my soulmate.
I would like to describe the contact with my soulmate as a purely ‘spiritual relationship’. Until recently I did not know that such a thing was possible. In fact, I now believe things that I would have worn out until now for sheer nonsense: reincarnation, memories of a past life (in my case a lonely life as a seafarer for the Portuguese merchant navy), soul contact (feeling each other without being together), inspiration (names of famous people from the past – sometimes I knew the name already, sometimes not), being able to feel with someone else’s hand and being able to see with someone else’s eyes (during a funeral service – I don’t know who died, but I was there – virtually then), exits, seeing your own soul … The latter was really very special. It was a few days before the summer vacation and I sat in the sun on a Saturday afternoon thinking about how it would work if I didn’t see him daily. I thought that of course I could just call and have a chat. I didn’t do that (he told me at an early stage that I didn’t want to contact me ), but the thought that I could call him in principle made me very relaxed. I fell asleep and then I saw a transparent cover, most of which looked like a large glass vase, from which a small silvery ball suddenly “poped” up no bigger than a smartie. In a fraction of a second the ball multiplied into a
round crystal-like ball with a diameter of approximately 12-15 cm. It radiated a pure white light, dazzling … It looked like nothing else I knew, a completely new image. Magnificent.
Later I read on the internet (long live Google) that this could be my own soul. Someone described a similar experience as a result of the encounter with his twinflame.
There are no obstacles in our spiritual relationship . I cry when he cries, I smile when he laughs, I free (with myself) when he does .. At least I think so. For example, on his birthday, early in the morning at a quarter to five, I saw a tearful face, I think his.
The last weeks of the school year, after the May vacation until the summer vacation, I felt the familiar tinging in my stomach almost daily around a quarter to four. Even when I was concentrated in a meeting, or present myself, that happened. When I looked at my watch, I knew: ok, he just came home.
Because it was not possible to talk to each other about our soul contact, I gave him a stone that I had taken with me on vacation. I suspect him that when he came home he often took it in his hand and that is why I felt the tingling.
So there are obstacles in physical life, as you understand. I am still busy with my divorce and he has his thoughts … We have spoken once about my feelings. That was in response to a letter I wrote to him a few weeks before the Christmas holidays. In it I had written that I felt warm inside if I just caught a glimpse of him. He said “what you feel is called soul recognition.” He then stated that it was not
mutual. Well …
At first I thought I was in love, so it seemed plausible that we would try to find out more about each other’s lives. And to investigate whether we would like to maintain contact with each other in any way. That did not happen. I have learned a lot from him, mainly through dreams of the past 10 years that I have gradually remembered. In one of those dreams, on February 4, 1997, I looked him in the eye.
He was a bit thicker and paler than now, but he had the same sweet glance. I had forgotten about that dream, but I found it in my diary, on the last day of the Christmas holiday.
So we have no relationship in physical life, not even a friendly one. I don’t think our clocks are quite right.
Above all, I am very grateful that I have had these experiences, that I have been able to take a look ‘beyond’ . I feel supported and loved. Previously I was often restless when I sat alone on the couch during one of my husband’s many travels, or the year he didn’t come home at all, three years ago. That feeling is over.
I still do the same things, live in the same house, do the same work, interact with the same people, but I enjoy my life again and everything is much easier for me. It made me a lot happier, as I told him, on the last day of school.
Of course I am also sad because I could not tell him all that I am writing down now. There must be a reason why this was not possible, a reason that I do not know.
The encounter with my soulmate has made me aware of my own soul. A dimension has been added to my life. During the last years of my marriage I felt that I was standing still in my own development. I put all my energy in the care of my husband and children. I incurred ‘backlog maintenance’. I have now caught up with that!
The best thing was the image of my own soul. See above.
Eroticism was only there in a virtual sense. Also quite satisfactory by the way ..!
Soul love is something of a different order. Not the here and the now. Not from the material life. That is why it is so difficult to give it a place. It cannot be framed, no place is big enough …
We don’t live far apart. He has my address, I have his. It is vacation. The school will start again soon. I am curious if and how we will greet each other. It may well be that we do not even look at each other …
It is impossible to seek such love again. It is ‘once in a lifetime’. I do not know what I owe it to being allowed to meet him. Maybe I was right when I texted him that “god apparently decided that we had suffered enough, but that we still had a long way to go.”
My tip is; just try to enjoy soul love.