S031. A deep contact with myself, insights into my life path


A reunion after several years … Never thought I’d see him again, always quietly hoped. I knew him from years ago, always communicated on a spiritual level, I felt good with him. No more, no less … Due to circumstances we have not seen each other again. I was in
my late thirties, he in his late sixties … The meeting seemed programmed from above For me it was overwhelming, the feeling that there were no years in between (we didn’t see each other for about 8 years), it seemed as if he himself was there was dropped at that particular place, that particular moment. An all-embracing handshake, overwhelming happiness to see each other again, a moment of unity, understanding each other with a single word. Had never experienced this and never expected that this would happen.
The relationship we had was a friendship relationship: good conversations, feeling on a wavelength, exchanging ideas. I did not feel that he was above me and vice versa, despite the age difference. Not realizing then, or at least not why, I was drawn to him. You can feel related to many people, but deep inside of me I now know that I felt more than just friendship. Hence my deep desire during the past years to see him again someday …
My partner didn’t make a point, not even when I expressed that I had known him for centuries and was so happy to have met him again. Probably due to the large age difference (25 years), it is easier for him to accept (no physical threat …). Could always get along well with it. He does not realize what has happened within me, that conscious moment and afterwards, this for a year already …

My soul love and I have never had a personal relationship. We never talked about it. We were both married, I with small children and he already out of the children. We had common friends that we often met … There was only feeling good together (at least I was) and being happy when he was there. This felt different to me as incomplete.
We also had no love relationship wish, that was not an issue. But as a result of that conscious re-encounter, feelings have surfaced on the surface of which I never thought I experienced this and which made it very difficult for me over the past year.
Since that conscious meeting, I have invited him a few times where he accepted, along with old friends. I suppose this could be repeated in the future, he took the initiative.
It has brought me a lot of chaos in myself afterwards, the immediate feeling at that conscious moment of not being able to go back, not wanting it either. An enormous energy in myself, feeling very deeply connected to him. A lot of pain afterwards due to the tear again (not seeing each other often). Sometimes wanting to turn back the clock so that this did not happen is sometimes unbearable…. A deep contact with myself, insights into my life path.
I think the most special thing is drowning in each other’s eyes, a radiant deep look, the deep sense of unity (at least for me) that conscious moment. The overwhelming feeling. My life was rotated 180 degrees, at least inwardly, nothing is the same anymore and everything through that spontaneous encounter. A great internalization took place and is still going on.
For me it feels like a love out of this world, knowing that I am taking this on a different level. It doesn’t matter that I can’t have a love affair with him right now, I believe in the energetic fusion and I hope to be able to experience this consciously someday. Sometimes I felt the need to touch him tenderly or crawl close to him … If he is there and we see each other again, there is that charge that is healing for myself but also for others in my area …
Not seeing or hearing him can be painful, but there is still the hope that I will see him more often. I believe in the purpose of this being together again.
I have more or less expressed to him how connected I feel to him and also took the initiative afterwards to see him now and then, (which he was actually very happy about). But he himself never made known what he was saying feels and what he has experienced. I know that he largely agreed and was happy with my expressions.
Another tip I want to give others is; Forcing nothing, having patience, discernment, following your intuition …