S028. I had an ‘inner struggle’ that I couldn’t handle at the time



I met her at a Coc party, December 17, 2004 to be exact. We were hugely attracted to each other! Her eyes … She is a temple of beauty! In the course of the evening she sat down with me, she was also very attracted to me (hehe thanks Ronald!) It was a bit ‘scary’ and so on, because it felt so intense, but it was an exciting and wonderful evening. How happy I am / we are that we have ‘reminded’ each other again.
Everything we experienced was very intense and sometimes quite heavy too! I just read a little bit about twinflames here on the site … and it says that you are opposites to each other. It works perfectly, we complement each other well.
When I met her, I had another girlfriend .. He lived in Rotterdam, and that’s 3.5 hours of traveling for me .. Because I like to be honest, I carefully told her that I met a nice girl here .. And wanted like to know what she thought of it. She responded positively .. I did not expect that at all. The first thing she asked was “does she live closer?” She thought it was great fun for me, and she told me: “if you’re happy, then I am” .. “you go girl!” I will never forget those words. I sincerely wish people all love, and tralaaaa: everything will come back to you! (wonderful law, that cause and effect).
I had a wonderful relationship with her for half a year. It went out about 7 months ago.  I was having an ‘inner struggle’ that I couldn’t deal with at the time, I thought I didn’t have enough strength to persevere .. That was all very emotional .. I thought ‘I would demolish again if I continue to’ hurt ‘.. I thought it was very ..! But we had created those situations ourselves, we chose to learn / experience it / to make it our own .. Fortunately I KNOW .. And I also know that she and I come together again, I feel it in the vibrations in my soul (shivering, lol, oh no, that’s something else again, I feel that when I see her, think of her …; p)
We want that, we prefer to experience it to remember and know who We really are.
So my inner struggle …
I was still with another in my head .. SNIF .. And because of that L became jealous .. What I understand very well afterwards dear! But at that moment I couldn’t do anything with it, it made me crazy, I couldn’t breathe anymore. That is why one day I had made the choice to take a few steps back .. Very unfortunate .. It was very difficult for the both of us .. But I do want to get down on my knees .. I am so grateful that I was able to experience this .. I have now made it my own! 🙂 That makes me more and more aware of her love. Yes yes I am going to SEE now.

We both wanted a love affair together. That is totally mutual until today! It is true that she currently has a dear friend, but we know that everything will be fine between us so it is good. I have to say. I am happy with myself .. because I have little to no jealousy .. otherwise it would have been very difficult for me now, because then I would only get in the way of myself. If you accept something then it won’t bother you! She now has a lot of trouble with it, I find that very understandable, she now experiences all sorts of ‘double’ emotions: she is crazy about her girlfriend, but at the same time …
That is fierce.
We have regular contact via sms, mail and msn .. In itself good .. but her girlfriend does not entirely agree .. (which is also understandable again .. of course!) So it goes a bit now and then difficult. Her girlfriend is so scared of losing her .. … if only she knew that Love Bonds are eternal, forever … Then she could ‘let go’ of that fear. But people must want to see that for themselves, I guess .. I have been a long time glad I met HER and I accept the situation as it is now. Wonderful to live without fear .. If the silence hits you, your uncertainty will be cracked!
This soul love has brought me HUGE MUCH. We get to know each other better and, naturally, with ourselves. Rest in my body. Rest in my life. AND I now know what I want !!

Eroticism was certainly different from other relationships. Not that it wasn’t fun with others .. but this surpasses everything, clearly. She knows my body like no other. I know her body like no other. I became more aware of my body and chakras. And THAT feels comfortable there !! We were pushed to great heights … that’s how I experienced it. Sometimes it even made me cry .. then it overwhelmed me, it was that intense. So that says enough.

I would describe the feeling of love as; Peaceful, Loving, Trusted, Clean, Intimate, Exciting, Ultimate Love

If you love something. Then set it FREE, If it comes back, it’s yours, And if it doesn’t. It was never really
Two weeks ago I met a nice girl. Totally in love! I was still with my soulmate with my feelings and thoughts but I thought that after a while it would ‘get used to’ say ..
That was disappointing! On the other hand it became more and more intense .. I thought it was kind of scary to give myself up again like with HER and that turned out to be a ‘spiritual stop’ for me too. I found it very annoying, but I only have one after 1.5 weeks. put behind .. Not because I CAN’T give myself, but because I DON’T WANT (and that’s why I can’t)

What I would like to say to others is; You never get anything that you can’t handle. Go by your feelings, and don’t be a plaything of your own thoughts. Feeling is pure and tells the truth.
Want to know more about this?? Somewhere on this site something beautiful has been written about it, with the title: “Learning, Clearing blocks, Thinking” “not thinking but feeling”