S021. As if I had got wings

D.

I have been happily married to my husband for a couple of years, which I still love. But now I met a man last year where I immediately felt as if we had known each other for years. He looked at me and it felt like a very heavy load was being lifted from my shoulders. He did not have to tell me what was bothering him, I had already felt that.
My partner may not know that I met my soul love, I introduced him as a very good friend. Which I look up every now and then. It is also better this way, after all, I still love my partner even though it has become different. My feelings are mixed, I occasionally tend to flee to my soulmate, and then prefer to be nice with him. But my mind tells me to stay with my partner from a moral point of view.Because after all, for someone who has never experienced this feeling, it is hard to understand.
The relationship I had with my soul love was that I could always talk well with my buddy. It was a kind of love that was not allowed. Since I am married. He is divorced and has two children. One of whom lives with him.
The biggest obstacle in our relationship is the age difference and sometimes looking at things differently. And he knows that I am married and that stops him a bit. Which in itself is something to be said for, though I would have liked to see it differently. We had a love affair because we both needed to touch each other and feel the warmth of that other person. And at that moment my partner could not give that. At least I had that feeling. I feel that we are still buddies. Although it is difficult to wait until we are together again. I really miss something if I haven’t seen or heard him.
Soul love has given me a different perspective on love. I had never had this feeling before and started to realize that not everything in life is for nothing. The best moment was the heartfelt hug on the couch at his home when we kept each other company, enjoying each other’s attention during a cup of coffee. That feeling that you no longer want to let each other go. And with eroticism it seems as if we have felt each other. It was a very intense warm feeling that you don’t want to let each other go.
The soul love feeling is for me; warm and full of energy, as if I had had wings. Your battery is full again and you can handle the whole world.
What I want to say is that I know from myself that many people who have never had this feeling disapprove of it because this is not allowed in our society. My tip is; also live on your feelings and dare to live because you only live once.