Hi, I have a question and I hope you can help with that. First I will briefly state what is going on. I have had a best friend for 7 years, we treat each other very well. One period more than the other. A lot has happened over the years, so we are now at a point where we have sex with each other without a real relationship. Over the years I have often had a period in which I noticed myself getting more feelings. If I indicated that, I often received the reaction it is better to stay friends, we have such a good bond, I don’t want to ruin that. At such moments we often distanced ourselves from each other and after a while everything went on in the old way. Now the last 3 months we see each other again very often, it went from 1 in the week to almost 4 times a week. I felt the feelings coming again, but I didn’t want to do anything with it because I already knew what answer I got to this. In the end I did not like it anymore, I found his behavior to come by often and stay extra suspicious for a long time. Also this time I was told that he has no feelings for me. On one or the other manite it probably didn’t hurt because I secretly already knew his reaction. I indicated that he is really clear now, and that was enough for me to let my feeling go. The friendship is so strong that we keep meeting. What I noticed this time was that he said nothing about taking a break because I got feelings again, instead he just kept coming 2/3 times a week until today. He comes from himself and I have said something like that of you having no feelings and keeping everything friendly, but you are sending other signals. What will this be? And what do you think I can do about it?
Very difficult question! Think yourself that your friend is a soul love? Maybe you are soulmates or twins and he cares a lot about you, but he has no real romantic feelings for you. Why it is, that is hard to say, the fact is that he does not want a “relationship” relationship with you so far. Only friends with benefits. Two people / friends can have a very strong bond with each other without wanting / having a relationship. But sex does complicate a friendship, especially when one half has strong romantic feelings and the other doesn’t. Or at least do not want to give in to it. You will have to start the conversation. Try to go deeper into it. I would ask directly about it. Do not turn around and ask what you want to know. Believe me, even though the answer is not what you want to hear, That does not mean that your band will break. If you have a band, it will always be there. But maybe this is not the band for a romantic! relationship. Wish you a lot of strength!