Q0379. Sometimes I wonder if I just talked to myself?


My feeling has always told me that I have met my soulmate, but for the last 2 years I have sometimes wondered if I talked myself into it. I am now 31 and I met my soulmate when I was 21. I was out dancing and he was on the other side of the room. Our eyes meet for the 1st time and immediately something happened in me. I can’t really describe that feeling in words, but if I had to give words to it, it was a warm feeling through my body, huge jitters in my stomach as if you were so incredibly nervous, an intense joy and an enormous feeling of invincibility. One second after our eyes crossed and I felt all those feelings at the same time, I told a friend standing next to me: I am in love. I was shocked to say that because I had never seen that boy in my life … but I was just sure. Two days later we went on a date and from that moment ‘we’ became a fact. We started living together after 4 months and unfortunately that went wrong after 4 months. He broke up and I was completely devastated! n. Then there has been a period of almost a year in which he wanted me back one moment and when I was back he indicated that he was in doubt again. At one moment he indicated that he had never loved someone so deeply and at another moment he said again that he could not and blame it on this and that etc. In the meantime I was becoming a wreck and go again and I started to show strange behavior; I was totally insecure and didn’t know it anymore. Then a moment came when there was no more contact, in that time I again became a little myself. After a while the contact slowly grew again and in the end I even moved in with him as a roommate. That lasted a year and a half and then it just didn’t work anymore. I am very sensitive, emotional and open about my feelings … he is the opposite. I had a hard time dealing with that. A time of less contact came but in one way or another we could not do without each other: one of us always sought contact with the other again. For example, there has been a period of approximately 4 years in which we sometimes did not speak to each other for weeks and then again twice in a week: it went up and down. During that period my feeling for him could give him a place where it didn’t touch me anymore. It probably also helped that I had a relationship of 1.5 years with someone else. By the way, he has not had a real relationship after me like I did. About 3 years ago the contact started to grow again very slowly. The emotional tension that was there (mainly from my side) was practically gone. It was still there, but it was in a different place. For example, I had no trouble when he told me about dates he had, I was just happy for him. But if one of my friends asked me if I would ever want him back, I didn’t even have to think and I immediately said yes. I felt that too. I didn’t understand myself because it didn’t touch me anymore, but I actually wanted to be with him … so contradictory. We are now 10 years after our meeting and he is a very good friend of mine now. I sometimes stay with him and we even go traveling together with the two of us. We sleep in one bed and nothing happens. I could not imagine my life without him, he is special … different from my other friends. What I feel for him goes beyond what I feel for others. I regularly think back to what I experienced emotionally with him and we sometimes talk about it, and we even laugh at things that have happened. I am sure I will never experience that again with someone else, especially because I learned from it. But I also don’t have the feeling that I will ever love someone again. That may sound strange because who can predict the future, it is only what my feelings tell me. I have read a lot here about letting go, and I believe I have succeeded because I really know for myself that I love him even though I am not the one. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but I feel so blessed to be active in my life. I strongly believe that he is my great love and soulmate and that it is ‘meant to be’ that he is in my life. Over the past 2 years I have been wondering more and more whether I have talked it all over myself. Is he really my great love and soulmate? Because why aren’t we ‘together’ then? And why are we so close together? It is very contradictory how I feel about it, but I just don’t have an answer to it. I once thought I’d tell him all that. I recently read about twinflames and soulmates and was told that this rarely actually concerns 2 men. Well, I’m a man and so is he.

It is somewhat difficult to determine what this is about, but the fact that after 10 years you still love that person just as well is a good indication of twinflame love, and the attraction and rejection that you have mentioned is remarkable and what I love about myself recognizing is also the fact that you grant happiness to that person whether it is with you or with someone else, as long as he is happy, I also had that feeling .. Letting go is good but don’t forget not to let go too much, you may release the emotions and pain but keep the memories and cherish them, that will do no harm at all, I am also rewarded with the perseverance persuasion, so always believe in a period that you will be together, keep that in mind but let go of it the rest loose, do you understand ?? I also recognize the doubt, that is normal, after a while you don’t know it all anymore, I think that is a period where you have to go through to learn from God to make your own decisions and m! honor to be decisive and more powerful. The doubt is a phase of fear and a learning process, you will get through it and with the 1 it takes a little longer than with the other. (Unknown)