S367. I am much more aware

Unknown

A paranormally gifted friend who lives abroad decided to do a meditation regarding my situation. initially to find out what kind of karma I still had to work out with the colleague with whom I had an affair for years (both a family) and who slowly took me from the inside. I couldn’t get him out of my system. At times he ran away, leaving me in despair. Just as I had accepted, he unexpectedly returned. After that session my girlfriend came up with the redeeming words: he is your twinflame. … And then everything fell into place.

He is not at all spiritual and not ready for me. He continues to insist that it is an uncomplicated affair for him, but it is no longer the case. What started as a purely physical affair in the office as a colleague has now become a more complex situation because the partners and children now know each other. This by stupid coincidence and strangely enough mainly by his girlfriend. He and I have the most intense discussions in which we hold up a mirror to each other. To both frustration. Such discussions with everyone else would forever damage my relationship with that person, but with us this is definitely not an issue. It feels so familiar, as if I am in discussion with my inner voice.

The relationship we had was intended as purely physical, especially from him. For me, feeling and feeling with him was exciting and safe so immediately that it was more for me right away, although I didn’t want to know that for myself. The sparks still splash when we (secretly) make love and then I feel so much love that I want to convey to him. I have never felt so connected to anyone. I have now literally experienced what ‘making love’ means. He also feels the intensity with which we blend into each other. However, he still puts it away under the name ‘horny sex ever’

The partners know no better than that we got to know each other platonically as colleagues, but the way we treat each other has already elicited the statement from my partner: you look like a married couple. Some time later a friend of mine said exactly the same thing.

My twinflame says that he could not live with me because we are too similar in terms of personality and because of the discussions we have. “Fireworks in everything” were his literal words. He does not dare to confront himself, is my interpretation of this :). We are often on the same line. I hear or see him do something and it is as if I hear or see myself. Or he picks up what I want to say. We do not have that with the partners.

My feeling says that I want to be with him constantly. He is not yet ready and I do not know whether it is intended that we come together in this life. We live close together, children of the same age and we meet each other weekly with family and usually also once or twice privately. I have the feeling that we should be in each other’s lives to force each other to look deeply into ourselves and confront each other with our deepest self. But whether this is in a relationship form … who knows. I satisfy myself with those moments. The moments that I am with him are the only moments that I am mindful and in the moment. The world can perish. … And just at moments when I think we have found a mode and we feel each other perfectly, he comes up with the fact that he doesn’t know anymore, that we should try it platonic because it is no longer uncomplicated and he feels guilty towards everyone etc. The first few times it was as if he stuck a knife between my ribs and I was physically sick. And just when I got scrambled again, he came back (and I let it happen). I now know that I have to leave him in such periods and that he will return. The best thing would be that I myself propose to make it platonic and therefore stick to it, because I feel that I would help him enormously with this spiritually. Unfortunately the meat is weak. And just when I got scrambled again, he came back (and I let it happen). I now know that I have to leave him in such periods and that he will return. The best thing would be that I myself propose to make it platonic and therefore stick to it, because I feel that I would help him enormously with this spiritually. Unfortunately the meat is weak. And just when I got scrambled again, he came back (and I let it happen). I now know that I have to leave him in such periods and that he will return. The best thing would be that I myself propose to make it platonic and therefore stick to it, because I feel that I would help him enormously with this spiritually. Unfortunately the meat is weak.

The other way around, he laid the finger on my spiritual sore spots like no one else ever did. I am much more aware of what I have to work on and have certainly grown. Unfortunately, the implementation is always more unruly than the theory, but I keep practicing; ).