S361. Attract and repel

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My soul love … Before I met him, I dreamed about him 2 weeks in advance. In my dream I was with a man where I felt completely loved and safe, intense love. 2 weeks later he suddenly got to know me through my life on the internet and let me add that I am never on a dating site. But he was
just there and the way we sent messages became more and more personal and intimate … He gave me a feeling that I cannot describe,
overwhelmed by him, no longer out of my mind. 2 weeks later we saw each other for the first time and wow .. I was blown over, everything
about him was fun, we had a great evening and laughed a lot together. When I looked into his eyes he gave me a sense of peace, but also one
feeling shy. The feeling of love. I couldn’t believe it, the man I always had in mind was literally in front of me. In the week that
followed, we became increasingly personal. We agreed again, we both wanted to see each other again and what happened next … I
closed, I was not nice and fairly direct. If he said something sweet, I would cut it off with a blunt a!
to give a word. What happened to me that night? I absolutely loved him, how could I show myself from my negative side on a
2nd date … I was able to resume myself that evening, only he felt my distance. Later that evening I realized that I was flooded
with old fears and pain. In that week I was enormously confronted with my past and my soulmate did not understand it, I made him
insecure while I became insecure about him. After this date our appeal was quite present. I invited him to my house, we had
a very nice evening, an intimate tender evening. Our first kiss lasted 2 hours, dear kisses, it just didn’t stop. Stroking and being kind
to each other. The feeling was magical … Together we fell asleep in each other’s arms on the couch. Wow this was so intense and loving, my
heart is burning while I’m typing this. My soul love has certainly experienced this as well, he is afraid of it!
n and doesn’t know what to do with it. We no longer have each other
seen, this has happened 4 months ago. We are in the period of attraction and disposal. In those months I have said 7 times that I
want to close this and that I wish him the best. I just can’t do this because he won’t let me go. I can’t let him go. After 4 months
we now dare to admit more and more to each other that we have touched each other’s hearts. I do not dare to let him know that I am his soul love / relative
. That 2 souls recognize each other and immediately feel love for each other has clearly happened, that after having seen each other 3 times so much love
may arise in me for him, for myself and for us. It is very difficult if the other does not want to admit you, is not ready, but me
stay strong, because eventually he will come to me again … I look forward to the future and what this will give us. This is the best thing I have
experienced and felt.