S358. Confusion and unconditional love


I was approached by my soul love on appearance I would have just passed him by. But I won’t forget those two seconds. It was not a popping explosion of recognition, but a pleasant, calm and safe feeling.
We actually rolled into a relationship by itself and that’s how the problems started. My soul love in battle with
itself (depressed) did things that are not normal in a relationship. Something I couldn’t live with anymore. I broke this relationship, but I was deeply troubled by love, I started dreaming about my soul love and he contacted me again. After my soul love contacted again it was a feeling of coming home and a resounding yes we go for it.
Unfortunately, the above continued to repeat a cycle that I could not break. Due to the periods in which we were not in contact, I realized that this was not just a boyfriend, but more. Someone could hurt you like that but at the same time there was an unconditional love. A relationship that was doomed to fail but could not let go, an indescribable loss if there was no contact.

Our relationship started as a love relationship. This eventually became a very close friendship. In this friendship I also felt the most connected with my soul love. There was no hatred and envy, we could be together in a casual way. Eventually this friendship was watered down.
After meeting my soulmate I met my current friend. I have always been very open and we have all had a close friendship for a long time. In that respect I am a blessed person and I am convinced that I have been able to meet my twinflame, but also a soulmate.

The biggest obstacle in our relationship was the depression of my soul love and thereby his alcohol consumption. Aggression and
cheating were the common thread in our relationship. Yet I have never been afraid and I have always found my equal. That is why it has crashed so terribly. This relationship was really an I can not with you but also without your situation. After something else happened, I broke up, we had no contact for months, I started dreaming about him and he contacted him. When I finally made the choice myself I will not go further with you there came only peace in our relationship. And developed a close friendship.

A love affair was not reserved for us. Our egos have been dented too much by the relationship, so I finally
chose that love does not conquer everything. I certainly preferred friendship to a love relationship.
I always had the feeling: if only we were brother and sister there would not have been so many extra problems but then we would just be there for each other, together …

We have not had contact for years, the friendship was watering down, but there has not been a moment that he was not in my heart.
Very recently we have had short mail contact. Just knowing that everything is going well is enough. Although I sometimes imagine that I give him a huge hug, I find it most livable if we occasionally give a sign of life to each other.

My soul love has brought a lot of confusion, this is because of attracting and repelling. You just start doubting yourself for a moment, am I so obsessive?
Soul Love ultimately taught me what unconditional loving is. But to be honest, life would be a lot easier if that thread, that band were not there.
The most special moment was when he said, I looked it up, we must be twinflames.
For me, sex was no different than in other relationships.
It is a feeling that pulls towards the other from your breastbone at the height of your breasts. It feels like a thread, which is sometimes stronger than at other times. It is a feeling of an overwhelming love for someone.

I know that this kind of love only occurs once in your life. And to be honest, I would not want to
experience it again. It is so intense and intensive. I enjoy my relationship with my soulmate more than with my soul love.
I have often been in doubt, am I now telling myself that… or is my feeling really true, is this really a soul love.
I am convinced that you should not doubt yourself, that is your ego, your feeling is right.
Follow your heart and enjoy the moments together that you can be in contact with each other.