S354. Confrontation with myself


We had been colleagues for years, where we did meet each other where people didn’t see that often. But from day one I noticed something special about him. Something that touched me inside. After that there was a very strong attraction, but especially curiosity about him. He who suddenly stood so close to me, looked intently at me but felt very familiar. I don’t know if he had it then either, my feeling says yes. I just had no idea then that it was about soul love. That discovery came a few years later when we hadn’t seen each other for a year and suddenly saw it again because we became colleagues again at another location.
It was a very strong sense of recognition. It turned my world upside down. I couldn’t sleep for nights. After a
course that we took together for work seemed like a kind of spark. But in the sense of I know you and you seem to know me. Via social media we both wanted to talk to each other more often and more privately. We exchanged numbers later. It was misleading and confusing. Just a crush but somewhere else.
We have a very deep relationship with each other and keep in touch every day. There has never been a relationship in the sense of boyfriend / girlfriend but the contact was intense and often confusing with deep feelings of love that I found it particularly difficult to post because I also have a relationship.
For my partner it was also difficult at the time. It was confusing etc. Did I love him enough? And no more from the other. Still I had never heard of soul love. I have often googled the phenomenon soulmate. And then I came here. Recognition, a lot of recognition!
There are many obstacles that have to do with reason. The feeling is told to be as close to him as possible, but the mind says that because of your relationship you shouldn’t do that. For him there was also that wise distance and politically correct.
My feeling says that we wanted to be together. A hug always feels so big and nice.
We have a friendly relationship and daily contact. We cannot let go of each other and see each other occasionally at work and on average once a month in private. We usually do something fun and talk about little things and about deeper topics. We have never discussed soul love with each other, but we both know that our band is a bit strange but also very special!
It confronted me with myself and that was not easy. I think it has been the other way around as well. Telepathy is very special, we feel very strongly about each other. On a day that he feels bad I feel that and vice versa.
Feeling: It is a very beautiful feeling. And a deep intense love that cannot be understood at first. I want to make it negotiable with him someday. I just don’t dare.