I get on the train and while I look out the window over the meadows, while looking for a quiet place in the compartment, I see the reflection of my face in the window. My face is a bit colored and a bit tense and I feel that my heartbeat is fairly irregular. I have joined my hands to calm myself down. I have booked a nice hotel on the Leidseplein. That seemed useful to me as I have a business meeting in Amsterdam tomorrow morning. Today that much awaited MEETING. I have been writing with her for two months. Almost every day. Open. Pure.
With sincere attention. And I opened like a flower. She also. It was not planned. But it went without saying. Our characters slowly unfolded. We let each other into our inner world of experience. We shared our soul stirring. And that made a lot of difference. That made a great impression. And in a few hours I will finally see her. I get off the train and take the tram to Leidseplein. With the check in at the hotel my excitement increases. We have agreed that we will embrace each other first. Wordless. And then we especially feel what that does to us. What if I can’t resist her, it goes through my head. If I fall in love with her.
Because if I am honest, that has already happened in words. I have already fallen for her personality. I already have tender and loving feelings for her. My God, what if I fall for her like a log? After a hot shower and wearing my nicest suit and my Coco Chanel, I take the elevator to the lounge. First a glass of red port to give myself some courage. My phone beeps and a text message arrives. From her. If I want to meet earlier then that is possible. I text back that I will be there sooner, within 15 minutes. She is really looking forward to seeing you soon. My god, I find this more awful as five gigs with an audience of 1000 people. While I empty my glass of port and check my clothes again, I walk across the street to where I will see her. She’s not there yet. Happy. Just trying to relax. I order a glass of Chardonnay and wait at the bar while I look around with curiosity. As I raise my glass and take a first sip, I see her coming. In her sexy short red skirt, her beautiful black fitted jacket, her beautifully cut top, where her breasts come out in a sophisticated fashion, and her dark red lips and similarly red painted nails and a firm step on the high black heels that she wears elegantly. She is smiling at me. And I fall. Deep for her. My God how can I ever resist you, is the last thing I think, and after that I only feel it. I feel love at first sight. In the midst of all those busy people who suddenly no longer exist. And I take a step towards her and embrace her. Solid. I smell her. Feel her. Never was a meeting as life changing as ours. It is fantastic and my eyes shine. From that moment on.