S322. You don’t always have to start a love affair with your soulmate


I met him at a very young age. We were 12! I was in high school chatting with friends in the classroom. You had a connecting door between the classrooms and there I was. I looked into the other class and then I saw him standing. We looked at each other exactly at the same time and it seemed as if time stood still. My heart jumped from a deep kind of love and respect. He walked over to me and came to stand with me and my classmates, he made a comment and I went along with it.
It was exactly my kind of humor and I had to laugh (normally I was declared insane by my friends with my humor) but he seemed to understand everything. From that moment we were friends in one fell swoop.

Not many days later we fell in love and got ‘a date’. I was so young that I didn’t understand anything of my feelings .. was this really in love or did it go further than that? Because I felt it was much more than a crush. I got scared … very scared. I broke up with the sentence: “I think you’re so sweet, but I don’t want to lose our friendship because of a date.” It was no excuse, no excuse. I meant what I said.
He was of course furious and very hurt, but a week later we made it up and he said, “I really want to stay friends with you.” And it actually stayed that way.

He had never had a girlfriend again, in the meantime I had worn out a lot of friends .. unfortunately.
He always felt that our contact would be watered down and our band would crumble if I had a friend, but we always found each other again.

Once he became friends with my then friend. My ex was setting us up against each other and told lies about me, was burning. He became furious and scolded me, didn’t want to know anything about me anymore and broke off contact. In the same period it went out of my ex and he chose his side.
He still refused the contact.
I wanted to do everything to make it right, I constantly sought contact, but in vain.
I was depressed and lonely for a long time then. I felt that something was missing in my life. I had lost my best friend, the other half. Nothing was complete in my opinion. Someone once said to me:
“If you and J. no longer interact with each other one day, I will eat my shoe.” Well he could eat his shoe ..

Then one day, a year later, I realized it no longer made sense to be sad. I thought: We will never be friends again, just leave it now. It will no longer be okay, so be it.
Then, that same day, I received an email from him! Or we could meet and talk everything out. Really incredible .. I gave up and he contacted again!
Of course we agreed and made up for it.

Often when it clicked very well between us in a period and we had the feeling of being one, I got a rush of falling in love again.
One time I blurted out dreamily: “You are beautiful.” Then we got confused again and another awkward conversation followed.
In the meantime, we were friends for so long that we couldn’t imagine a relationship.
So we decided to stay friends again.

We are still very good friends now.
We have been in school and in class from the age of 12 to 18, and now we are both at a different school in a different city.
I thought that was terrible in the beginning because he was my very best friend at school, my very best classmate, my other half.
We also both live in a different city.
Fortunately we keep in touch and otherwise weird coincidences ensure that we always meet again.

It’s nice to know that you have such a best friend. When I am having a hard time, or just have a funny smile, I prefer to cry or laugh with him.
The great thing about friendship is that you can love each other unconditionally.

Furthermore, we have the same way of thinking, but we are different again in some character things.

We can always sit next to each other for hours without saying anything and then it is just right.
We see the same things happening around us and then laugh and talk about it.
Sometimes we suddenly both sing the same song or start talking about the same subject at the same time.
We often only have to look at each other to know what the other person is thinking or feeling.
Then we whats one another at the same time, or both have found the same song on youtube.

The first bizarre thing that happened was the following:
He was once so angry that he kicked out the door at school. The teachers did not calm him down and nobody dared to do anything else (he is quite tall). He was roaring in our classroom.
“I don’t know how to calm him down,” said a teacher in the hallway.
“Let me go,” I said, and before she could stop me, I walked into the classroom. I did not know why I did it exactly, I was totally unconcerned to properly deal with people or healthcare or something. I had the strong feeling that I could calm him down.
I walked over to him and took his head in my hands. I said nothing but thought:
“It’ll be fine, just go. Don’t be angry anymore, I’m here ‘. And he calmed down in one breath. “Sorry,” he said.
The teachers who were watching in the corridor could not believe their eyes.
The teacher said: “No one got him calm but you seemed to have some sort of magical effect on him.”

1 story stands out above all else.
It went really bad a while ago with a friend of mine. She was very depressed and confused at the time.
We had a break at school and J. and I walked through the stairwell to the auditorium. Through the window of the stairwell we saw A. walking outside. (She was also a classmate of ours). She walked out of the school grounds with her head down.
“We have to go after it,” he said in an alarming voice. We looked at each other and I gasped. Bad stuff. A teacher who heard us said: “You can take a look.”
J. and I ran after her. She was very confused and crying. When I put a hand on her shoulder or upper arm, she pulled it away and walked firmly. She did a good job. He also didn’t get her to stop, when J. tried something, she screamed it out, making it sound very wrong for passers-by.
We stopped and did not know what to do. He called our mentor (We were in a small school and had good personal contact with the teachers. He had our mentor’s 06). While we were standing there I suddenly realized something horribly horrible.
‘Ehh J. this path ends in the road. And the road ends in … “We got terribly scared. “Train track!” We said in unison. We ran to her with everything we had and did our best to stop her. (We were already out of school by now). I tried to appease and calm her and he called the teachers again. Sometimes we alternated. We were already on the road when the teachers rushed to us in the car. They took over and A. fell to her knees, was calmed and taken away.
J. and I looked at each other, looked pale with terror, and hugged each other firmly.
We almost lost our girlfriend and classmate and were relieved that we could have done something.
The following days we received a lot of thanks from people who knew what had happened.
We didn’t really have much to say about that. “We only did what you would do for a friend, a classmate,” was all we said. We also had that feeling. We had just seen her walk at the right time, there were two of us, trading with two, the right time, the right time. And we both also had the peculiar feeling that we had to be there at the time.

It is a feeling that goes deeper than friendship or love. You have the feeling of being one. Many people don’t understand how I see him, they think it’s nonsense. But they do not see the light in him that I do see. He always has fun lights in his eyes and when I see them, they shine through to my soul and I feel very good.

Sometimes they say that certain soulmate sets have been put on earth for a common purpose, that it finds each other back for that mission. Every goal is different for every couple, but there is a goal. I think it was our goal to save someone or to become friends. I am not sure if this is true of course, but what I feel is real and people may believe it or not. I know what I feel and I feel good about it.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now. I have already told him about how I look at J. and the story about the rescue. That we had the feeling that we had to be there at the time. My friend doesn’t want to know about it, he doesn’t believe in it. I can also understand, it is quite threatening. Such a story. I’d have that too.
They also met. That went very well, my friend likes him and he likes my friend. No jealousy, nothing.
My friend recently said at once:
“Maybe he is one of the people in your life with whom you grow up and die.”

What my friend doesn’t know is that I often still have a lot of questions to myself.
The love I have for my friend cannot be compared to my love for J.
Sometimes I wonder if I am not happier in a love relationship with J. than with my friend.
Then I feel guilty, crying.
But J. and I have befriended each other for life and consciously chose to do so.
And still keep wondering what it would be like … and then also become really sad.

My tips: You don’t always have to start a love affair with your soulmate, so I’m friends with my soulmate.
But indeed, that is not easy. Just as friends can get into a fight, soulmate friends can do that very well. Try to talk to each other, to communicate clearly. Preferably face to face because you know exactly where you stand from each other.

I would like to respond to your beautiful story! It is so very recognizable. My twinflame and I met when I was 15 and he was just 12. So very young too. And from the outset we too could go through one door perfectly together. We share the same humor, see the same things around us, and he often comes up with a topic that I have just thought about or seen somewhere that week. We are both now in our thirties and I am married to another man, who is a soulmate of mine, but that is something other than a twinflame. No less but different. My my twinflame, I am friends, and I recognize what you say about wondering and feeling sad about how it would be with him. My twinflame is single with a lot of loose friends and I know somewhere that he will never commit to anyone else because he is waiting for me. That is a deep knowing within. He once said that he wants to be with me in our next life …. my heart melted. He also recently indicated that he also knows that we are twinflames, but that it is not possible now and that he does not want to come between me and my husband. And that is precisely what makes a twinflame a twinflame; he only wants the best for you from unconditional love. I feel so grateful that I may have this band, that this happens to me. And that there are people here who understand. Love He also recently indicated that he also knows that we are twinflames, but that it is not possible now and that he does not want to come between me and my husband. And that is precisely what makes a twinflame a twinflame; he only wants the best for you from unconditional love. I feel so grateful that I may have this band, that this happens to me. And that there are people here who understand. Love He also recently indicated that he also knows that we are twinflames, but that it is not possible now and that he does not want to come between me and my husband. And that is precisely what makes a twinflame a twinflame; he only wants the best for you from unconditional love. I feel so grateful that I may have this band, that this happens to me. And that there are people here who understand. Love

Addition by writer story
I would like to add something to my story. I have now moved on for a few months and a lot has changed in that time. My indirect ex was quite aggressive … he broke things in the house, shouted, threatened and even pushed. This went on for a long time, and in spite of everything, I remained loyal to him, until it got so bad that I was forced to leave him. Crying I called my twinflame and he immediately understood that something was wrong of course.

The following days I spent a lot of time with J. and laughed a lot as usual. I talked to him about my ex and he understood everything and wanted to support me. In the end I kissed him, and since the end of February we have actually been ‘together’ as far as we have always been.

What seems? In the period that we did not speak because of that argument, we both listened to the same song, the same song. Florence and the machine – Spectrum. We both thought of each other at that number without us knowing each other and having contact. The song was so important to me that if I ever died, it would have played on my cremation for J. At that story, J. was dumbfounded, he, too, had put that number in his will in the same period as an estate. . for me. Often we still can’t comprehend how violent scary but incredible that is.

We are now a ‘couple’ although the beginning did not go smoothly. I couldn’t just walk from my ex to J., so I did it gradually. We have received many or only positive responses from our environment. ‘From the friendzone’ etc. People with a deeper look did say: “You see, you are destined for each other”. We both now have a deep knowing feeling that this is now our common goal, to be a couple. But I still had learning points that I first had to learn because I could handle them.
In the meantime, we remained friends and J. waited for me. Now I am happy with him and he with me. Love is there, no more and no less. It has been there since that first glance. We have known each other in September for 9 years and do not know any better. I look forward to the future with him, but I also find it very nerve-racking on the other side. This is different from my exes, if the big ‘let go’ comes then I am not sure if I can handle it. It is a fear that nevertheless remains .. for now we are very happy with each other! This week I have a tattoo put on everything I have experienced with bad exes. (5 little birds) That J. now shows me that I really am a valuable person and deserve that too ..