S239. Distance sexuality


On one of the last beautiful days in September I met my soul love. After two weeks in advance I had not been mentally stable and had stayed inside the whole time. I also looked bad at the time. On a Sunday, it was so beautiful, I looked in the mirror and I looked good again. Together with the neighbor we went walking his dog. After we had been on the road for 1.5 hours, I suggested to the neighbor to have a drink on the terrace of the local cafe. There he suddenly sat next to us at a table, not long after that to take a seat at our table. it was around 3 p.m. At 11 p.m. we were still sitting at the table. The neighbor had been home for a long time.
It immediately felt familiar, we understood each other without words. In addition, we had a lot of fun together.
At first I doubted exactly what I wanted, since my soul love is 16 years older. After a few days we also got physical contact.

The relationship with my previous partner was more or less over then, I had already moved to the place where I now live. I told my previous partner that our ways are separate, because I felt that I was not going further, but was taking steps earlier.

An obstacle was attracting and repelling what he did, because he doubted, very often doubted. Moreover, he left after 2 weeks for half a year. Leaving me bewildered.
We both want a love affair, but still remain autonomous. Now we have a remote relationship, contact between us is just calling and texting. He has no internet, and he also does not want to start correspondence. The relationship is intense and profound, I have never experienced this, and experience it as very special.

What it has brought me is mirroring, looking at the past, letting go, becoming much more independent. Believe in my own talents, discover talents.
The most special thing I found was remote sexuality, without texting or telephone, without touching myself I got the most wonderful orgasm I ever had. It felt like I was rising 20 cm above my bed, my womb turned and pulled together. A few days later I looked up what it was, and it was a womb orgasm.

I find it difficult that he is so far away, 2000 km. Yet I see the usefulness of it, I still have to let go of a lot of old ballast, a traumatic past, people let go. I know that in the summer of 2011 we can just continue where we stopped last October. Moreover, I experience him so shortly with me every day that actual contact is not necessary at the moment.

My love for him is unconditional, I know his vulnerability, which is also my vulnerability, I never want to hurt him.

My tip: Embrace this, every soul love has differences as well as similarities.