S205. My feelings transcend everything


(sometimes by chance) we literally forgot about the world around us, which many people noticed and that in turn gave a “painful” situation to partner and other business relations. While baptizing a ship within the project, he introduced me to his wife with the words “this is my special girlfriend”. After this we went for a drink with all the guests and he never left my side, put an arm around my shoulders and totally “forgot” his wife. (which I found very annoying for her and she told me that she was his 2nd wife (his first had died) and he never showed interest in her friends and family and only his daughter meant everything to him.

At a later time when he was present again at the park for meetings and discussions (his daughter and husband also stayed there) he introduced me as “a very good friend” of him and his family. She did not understand it and accepted it for truth.
Whenever he lived in one of his houses in the park, he was looking for a reason to get in touch with me. From a business point of view it is also a good reason to visit him, for example because a pile of mail was delivered incorrectly and was intended for him. When I brought that to him, we sometimes kept talking at the door for an hour and enjoying each other’s presence. It did not matter at all to him whether his wife, daughter and other family were waiting for him with breakfast, etc.

Although we both knew / felt that there was a huge attraction between us and we also respected each other immensely, we kept it business / friendly. If one of us had broken that tacit bond, for example by going beyond friendship in the form of a tender touch, sexually tinged, it would have gotten completely out of hand between us, because when we looked at each other we seemed to be drowning in each other’s eyes . We feel very well that this would lead to complete chaos.

My partner had a lot of respect for him and they were also on a par with the business.
My partner would not have understood it at all and would be very hurt if something had arisen between my soul love and me, sexually speaking, partly due to age differences but also due to the two relationships on each other’s side.

The obstacles that we encountered and that were good afterwards were that there were always people in our vicinity.
Either in our company or during receptions and meetings. He is also a man who is so important that he is never “left alone.”

If I had approached him seriously about a love affair, he would have been very flattered and would have done everything to make time for me to visit me on a regular basis. It would certainly have led to a permanent relationship in the long run. Both he and I had a partner that we were reasonably happy with and still are, so I never made a point.

We no longer have contact, because we have already left the park with our company and he has other and new projects at locations far away. I miss him daily, dream and think about him regularly, but have not yet found any reason to approach him.

I have had a very special experience that I didn’t want to miss for the world. I know that I have left a friend for life; I just have to call him …

For me, the most special moments were the moments that we talked to each other alone, without the insistence of others. Once in the early morning, when I was in the company and put the benches on the street, I met (particularly handsome and brown-burned in his tennis outfit) we talked and laughed for a long time and discovered that we were in line with our opinions were sitting. He invited me to come and stay with him at home (500 km away) with partner and children. I told him I would short-circuit it with my partner, but we have never been.

We have never let it happen that there is more to us than friendship. Out of respect for the partners and each other. Could something have happened; it was obvious, for I could have visited him in his own home when he was alone there; then it would have been so intense and fiery that tears would have flowed. We would like to stay together all the time and that would have been very painful for everyone and everything.

He still means a lot to me and so do I to him! My feelings transcend everything.

I miss him every day, dream about him regularly now that we no longer see each other. I am considering contacting him, but from a business point of view there is no reason anymore.

He is not my first soul love. I have experienced such a situation before, which due to circumstances did not allow it to grow into a relationship, perhaps because I let my mind do the work. and thereby have too much respect for those involved.

In my heart I wish I could be so “slutty” to let myself go completely, to go for it and to express my feelings; literally “pounce” on him, drag in his tie, get rid of his clothes and violently reach a peak with him. But unfortunately I don’t have the courage.
If he read this, he would laugh laughing and take me lovingly in my arms.

My tip: The tip I have for others is, if you are in a soul-loving situation and if there is a relationship in it, then go for it! Put everything on everything and go for happiness only!

How should I further tackle this? Just let everything go and cherish the past?