S200. I have decided that I am entitled to love in my life


I discovered my love for my soul when my life turned to artistry where my heart went out
when I looked him in the eye as I passed him I didn’t know what happened to me a shock went through my whole body! I have known him from many lifetimes before.

It left me and does not let me go yet it sometimes seems as if he is contacting me telepathically then he is suddenly there in my head again. I therefore see him in front of me. I wrote him a letter about 6 months ago asking for an interview because I don’t understand my feelings and I avoided my studies while being an artist so important to me. I hate him as intensely as I love him.
He also answered. According to him, it is not mutual. And he does not feel the need to talk about this either. That time I went to school afterwards, we bumped into each other. I cannot help but respect his wish and leave him alone. Whatever I respect. For me, the encounter led to the separation of the relationship I was in at the time. I now have another boyfriend, but now and then I feel guilty because I want to be with someone else in my heart.
But I have decided that I am entitled to love in my life maybe it is not meant to be in this life.

He is my teacher.
I told my husband at the time what I felt for this man. I had to feel it was cheating. I am usually very loyal in relationships but this happened to me.
My partner at the time responded by rejecting me. He also saw it as cheating. It quickly got worse between us and I left with our two children, the most difficult decision in my life, but it was necessary that our relationship was totally broken, but none of them wanted stepping up For that I am grateful to my soulmate even if it doesn’t work out

I could not experience it but it totally disrupts your life it throws your mind upside down you want to understand it but it is impossible to grasp someone you don’t know and yet … have enormous feelings for

The most beautiful moment I found was my trip to Venice, where together with a friend I got some personal attention about the old art in the museum. He took me to a painting and told me something about the first tarot ever made. I could only nod and say, oh, I didn’t know that. Not very original but talking is almost impossible with all those adolescent feelings. I will cherish that moment

I describe my soul love feeling with an unconditional love feeling from the heart and belly where you only want to be with this person.
At the same time it is very double because your mind constantly struggles against and wants to run away for this

Not having a relationship with him feels empty.
Don’t get me wrong I enjoy life immensely but I miss something as if your heart is only half filled.

I have never been looking and I will never do that because I am very stubborn. Is also the only one that I have attempted to decorate a man.
I just want to have enough of myself and I’m working hard on that now. I do not wish anyone this void

The letter I received from him was cold and aloof and it hurt incredibly because he insinuated that I had a fixation on his personality and he could never remember ever having met me. I know he is lying for that too many strange things happened but at the same time made me realize that he is probably not meant for me in this life

My tip: If you feel this do something with it let that person know how you feel. You cannot hide that and even after years it can still be in your system.
At least now I know that he knows how I feel. And can I give it a place.