S174. It has brought me more self-acceptance. Love myself more


I had been feeling badly for a year and a half because I was always different from the rest and nobody understood me, only my mother, but she has been dead for a long time.
Until the end of 2007, I received a message on a forum, because someone noticed that it was not going well, I heard something later and so I got a nice e-mail contact, with a huge love on my side after the third time. flooded. I now also have contacts like this, but I don’t feel any love with that, but I do feel warmth.
In February we met, and when we saw each other, it was good, and we had a great time, not nervously not shy, just very nice.

I am a very honest and open person, so my partner heard everything, saw that it worked well for me. And because I am so honest and we had a great relationship, he was not afraid of it. Sometimes it was difficult, but we are also talking about that. My twin was less open because they were not used to it and he did not know how to explain, his partner thought she had had such a friendship, but we knew better.

As I have experienced it? Pfffff do you have a minute? Beautiful, separate, beautiful, deep, intense, very heavy and painful. The feeling that you are inundated, I once wanted to tell him, you look like my twinflame, but first I wanted to know before I tick, what it really means and my eyes rolled out of their sockets, that was exactly what I felt !!!
The love went so deep, if not earthly as I am used to! While I really did not fall / fall on him, because it is not my type at all. With us it was more bipolar, attracting and repelling, but that was mainly due to its heavy blockages, because I always had faith in it. After all, if love goes so deeply, how else can it turn out to be wrong? We noticed that we wanted to continue together! Even though we had a good relationship, I personally don’t think it is fair to your partner if you care so much more about the other person to stay, and that’s why my partner and I split up, respecting each other, letting me look what I need. As a result of which my twin also wanted to leave, but clearly was not ready, but for fear of losing me things were said that he thought I wanted to hear.

Our relationship is very deep intense relationship, beautiful, loving, understanding each other helping each other forward, as far as that was possible with him. For my part 100% trust in each other, the “knowing” that it is so good. The “knowing” that you have come together to help each other. When we were together everything was perfect, I felt better than without him, I felt my own soul be completely whole. Despite the collisions, which were caused by misunderstanding, and blockages, I myself remained confident because I know my deepest feelings.

The biggest obstacle I mention, the physical attraction that I had no control over, he fell in love with me, so it is logical that it will be added, but I am not in love and my body nevertheless gave me things ! Very strange and not yet comprehensible. His blockages were the obstacles for the rest and we are still left with it, having no faith in oneself, but also not in my ability, not recognizing that your ego is also doing things and making them feel, not being in balance with it ego.

We really had a love relationship wish! Even though we both had a good relationship, this went so deep and we felt so completely together, he described it as being happy, but missing something spiritually, I just missed something in my soul. It was “good”, that is how it was when we were together. And that makes it so difficult, why now, why when you’re both happy in itself?
We fought against the fact that we did not want this, an insanely beautiful friendship and also a nice contact with the partners. But this was unstoppable.

There is no relationship anymore, because of his fears, his insecurity, his belief in my abilities and perseverance, I know it would be tough, but we also know that I am fantastic, and with such an experience, you KNOW what you are doing it for, so no, satisfaction, absolutely not.

It has brought me more self-acceptance. Love myself more.
It has brought me more loving contacts, more and more people are coming back from my past and new nice contacts. But it has also decreased, knowing that a normal relationship is no longer necessary.

The most special thing was, during a hug, that I had that cosmic experience of coming. My god, I really had something of what happened to me? And that was actually already when we had only seen each other three times.
And, I have experienced some kind of abuse, but never talked about it, because I actually didn’t mind so much, so never said anything from that guilt.
Until I was with him, I would tell my little secret when I was with him, and wanted to tell it, and then thought, no, what difference does it make, and my body starts to act so crazy, and I thought again, so not so crazy, He will soon feel bad because I have experienced it while I am not bothered by it, and again my body was so strange that I threw it out! Very strange, and from then on the guilt is gone!
During our vacation, my husband said it was better to break up while it was still good, he texted me two days later that he had told his wife to leave. Although he withdrew that again.

The soul love feeling is a very deeply intense feeling of love, whatever the other person does, you know what his soul is like, so you don’t have to forgive him, only sometimes to hold on. Now that there is and will no longer be contact, I experience an intense pain of my soul, which I cannot just stop, as you do with a normal broken friendship / relationship.

He chose me mid-December, and two days later it was over! Don’t get it yet. I sometimes think, I know that we belong together, but how is it possible that you both are not on the same level? Too many blockages, for his part, lacking faith and trusting me.
I do not get it.

What does it do to you? Intense pain, knowing that an ordinary love relationship no longer matters, because it simply cannot be matched with anything else.

You do not experience this twice, I do not believe that, because you only have 1 twinflame and it is so damn special that you meet it, and that is why I really do not understand it. That was also a fear, he often said, if we had no contact for a moment, are you now looking for another love ???? If you experience this twice, I don’t think you met your twin. No, I don’t have to.

I do not yet know if I should be happy that I experienced this, it was horribly beautiful, but I have experienced a lot in my life, but this is also something that hurts such an incredible horror that I would rather not had experienced. Because how can you continue now?

Only if one is significantly faster than the other, keep still, do not force anything, hold back some things, although that will be difficult.
Have a lot of respect for each other. If that and belief in each other had been with us, there would have been no breach. And ENJOY . And let everyone think about it, if you experience this, you KNOW what you feel.