S154. I had never felt this for anyone


Impossible love
I am a boy who has always had only one goal in life and that is enjoyment! One way or the other! A day without laughter was a day not lived for me. Everything went well for me, no worries and always lots of people around me! I had a hard time binding in love. It was never the dessert’s cake for me. When it all went a bit less, I fell into depression and for the first time I saw the black side of life. Then I met a girl and she got me on top with the help of my friends. I had a relationship with her, but it was not allowed to be! Our worlds were too far apart. Although I was the one who broke the relationship, I still got it seriously. If you like someone, your feeling doesn’t just disappear. But yeah,

Afterwards I decided never to give up that way again and I would enjoy life again alone! I did that too. An endless series of parties and enjoyable weekends were the
result. Flirting was also there, but no more than that. The feeling was gone.

Then there was that particular evening. We went out with friends for another evening. … I have never been in love immediately, but this evening would change that. Then I saw her standing: beaming and as beautiful as an angel! I had never experienced what I felt at that moment. Nothing happened that night and we went home. What I did not know was that she immediately noticed me and that she was exactly from the same region as me. So I would come across them and it happened a few weeks later. At a party with us. And the sparks jumped off! Love was in the making, but the only problem was that she was a lot younger than me. And that stopped me. No matter how difficult it was. We have become good friends and sometimes a big kiss was not far off. But she continued to have that bean for me. Even if a year had already passed, she was still in love with me. And that made me seriously doubt.

Would I do well? Wouldn’t I be hurt again? Then I finally took the step. If that girl is still after me for so long, it can only be love, right? And I was very happy with her, and she with me too! I had never felt this for anyone. If they took this from me, I would definitely go under it. And yes, as erratic as life is: it happened. After a little year she cut it down. Can you understand that now? First that great love and suddenly nothing more. That could not handle my sensitive heart and I did well under it. She also no longer wanted to be best friends: I was “too emotional”! You see: too good is not good either …

Months have already passed. Now I no longer have contact with her. The fairy tale is out, the angel is gone! Lonely and broken, this once so lively boy is left behind! And now I can no longer record the life of the past. I realize too well what I have lost: The love of my life …