S118. He brought me into contact with myself and I started to feel again


I discovered my soul love at the very first glance. I looked at him and I knew that he wanted to be with him. It seemed like I could see right through him. Whether he experiences it that way, I don’t know exactly. I know that he regularly thinks of me and that he misses me, but I also think that he does not realize what is going on. It is hard to explain what happened. and what i felt. When I am with him, time seems to stand still for me. Even when I look into his eyes it is as if I see more than with other people. Sometimes I feel his face very close to mine while he is not physically around at all. I also smell it sometimes. I often get an “announcement” when I see him again. Sometimes through thoughts, sometimes through feelings and sometimes I think I see him walking and then I come across him a few hours later (by chance). I have often experienced that he used a sentence that I literally! Used a few days before against someone else. Oja and the “chance” encounters, under the most weird circumstances.

We’ve kind of been together for a month. Then the day came when his wife called to ask for an explanation. From that moment on we hardly spoke to each other. But when I see or speak to him it seems to be magnetic (I believe for him too) All in all we have only had “something”, but I feel as if I know exactly what he is doing and as if I know exactly who he is.

The biggest obstacle from my point of view is the wife and the children he has. He has told me that if he left his wife, she would make sure that he would not see the children anymore. That would destroy him, which is why I understand his choice very well. He also has a huge sense of guilt (I think) The last time I spoke to him he said that he had taken his responsibility as a father and that his choice had been made, but I saw in his eyes that he was not happy in the current situation.

I can only speak for myself. I would like a relationship with him. I have never felt so much for a person I hardly know. I meet a lot of boys and men who are fun, thoughtful and friendly. But the feeling never seems to go beyond 2-dimensional. I am not waiting for them and I am open to everyone but the feeling is never that intense.

I don’t know if we’re in a relationship right now. He has often indicated that he wants a friendship, but then sometimes I don’t hear from him for a year. That hurts me a lot. He says he has such a hard time with himself in the current situation that he has nothing to offer me. I understand that, but I don’t agree. He lets my blood and energy flow, I can handle the whole world if I have just spoken to him. Then you have something to offer each other?

I met him in a time of loneliness and not self-love. He has shown me that I am not alone, that there are people who also think differently about life. He brought me into contact with myself and I started to feel again, something that I had put aside for a long time because life hurt me. He encouraged me (without his knowledge) to delve into old karmas and old traumas that I had to solve.

The best thing that happened is just being together. The total peace that I felt when I was with him. We didn’t talk much, we just talked to each other and that was enough.

I describe the soul love feeling as a band, a rope or whatever you want to call it. That band that stays, no matter how much I would like it to go away. I still talk to him in my head. And I love him, I don’t know how and why. After all that has happened, I still hope that he finds happiness in the life he has now. Although I will never have him completely in my life, I love him and that will never go away.

The relationship has ended because he is married, not so much because he is married, but more because he has children. Of course I experience that as something that makes me desperate. I want nothing more than to be with him, but I try to let him go. I try to think and feel that true love means that you let the other person learn his lessons. I believe that too, but at the same time, I miss him terribly. Already for 6 years!

I would no longer choose a soul love, because it brings you enormous joy but also enormous despair and sorrow. I hope that someday we come together, but if not, I would never again choose something so complicated.

My tip is: let go, let go and let go again !! Try not to hold on to what you feel, try to let the other person learn his or her lessons in love. And allow yourself the lessons you need. Whichever that may be.