S110. I suspect that we had to separate to both get to the ground individually and to find our own self again


Finally a place where I can share my own experiences. I broke a 7-year relationship a year ago. I have never felt as confused as before. I no longer understood what love is. I really thought I found the love of my life . We were, however, far too entangled with each other, fused together and on an island. A love that will not wear out and has brought much confusion into my life. I agree that you have loves that wear out, that fade away if they are not fed. And then there is a love that stays right through everything, together or not together. What I have read before is so recognizable to me.
I never understood that I can love someone so much, so deeply that there is so much to share, but a relationship is impossible.We have always wondered if a relationship was the right form for our love. Because that question was too painful, we ignored it. I don’t know what kind of love it is, but it will never go away. I just had the feeling that with such a love you have to stand damn firmly on your own feet and in your own energy. Is it true that with a twinflame you can no longer distinguish what belongs to you and what belongs to the other? That you can really only function in loneliness on a cloud? Frankly, this love has given me more questions than answers and my whole idea and feeling about what love has been confused. As beautiful as it was, the pleasure of waking up and being together, it became so difficult, confronting and lonely. Out of despair, when we felt that we were slipping away, we did a lot of damage to each other, by pretending to stay together for God’s sake. That hurts. And was not necessary. Now there is not only the pain of the loss, but also the pain of the damage we have done to each other. For such an intense love you have to be pretty individualized, I think.
Meanwhile found another love of a totally different order. There is a clear line between who he is and who I am. So totally different. Great and gives space. Apparently, no kind of love guarantees a good relationship. To a large extent, a relationship is also of a practical nature. I have no idea if that love was a twinflame, but I do know that it was very difficult for us to land and be practical. I did feel that every fiber in me was being hit. There was a surplus rather than too little, but could not be streamlined, everything was so clouded and unable to distinguish.I suspect that we had to separate to both get to the ground individually and to find our own self again. And the way to rediscover our ego is a completely different one for both. It is only painful that it had to be accompanied by so much destruction in the end.