S088. We are both looking for a way to keep dealing with each other


I met her and it was love at first sight, very recognizable and a feeling that we had known each other for a long time. A very strong attraction that I could not free myself from and she felt that at the time. It was mutual. I was in seventh heaven, nothing could stop me from being with her, I wanted her all the way and the attraction was so strong that I went so crazy with her, I wanted to share that with her and felt so strongly that I that just had to do whatever the consequences were.

We have met and seen a few times and had sex with each other. After that she went abroad so we no longer have the opportunity to see each other. It is suddenly broken by circumstances, not the feeling, that is permanent.

told my partner about it and she can understand it but it hurt her a lot to know that there is someone I can feel so much for and that she is not , it has changed our relationship, the way on which she looks at me has changed, I have become a different person for her, while I love her very much and would never want to hurt her with this, it has hurt her and hurt her self-esteem and feared that I would leave her .

Our obstacles are the relationships we already had … and the ways of thinking about relationships. I really wanted a love affair with her and would have given up my current relationship for that, but she did NOT want this! We are both looking for a way to keep dealing with each other , but my current relationship keeps me from doing this. We have contact via e-mail, which is not entirely satisfactory. We do not want the relationship to end, but others and circumstances make it happen.

It is still fairly fresh and I have not quite understood what it has brought. A very unique experience. For me it was being together with her that I thought was the best. The eroticism was special but not special, no better than in my own relationship …

Soul love is a feeling I had never experienced before and never thought I would experience that.