S078. I have grown so enormously spiritually


I find your site very interesting and it has helped me a lot. Thank you very much for that.
I would like to share my experience.

Recently I really went through a rotten period I was slightly depressed myself. That was partly because things went very badly with people in my area that I dearly love. And in addition to that , I also faced a number of difficult choices in my life .
I prayed to God every night that I hoped that someone would come my way who would understand me and with whom I could be myself. And yes a beautiful lady came into my life she is very paranormally gifted herself she has developed her gift very far. She is a fashion model and she has never had a relationship herself when she is already 22 and so many boys who adore her.

I came in contact with her via the internet. And it suddenly went so fast. Before we knew it, we had already agreed with each other. But when I think back to our first date, I get the feeling that she already knew that a loving relationship could grow between us. Normally she is still aloof with boys but she kept calling me and we constantly sent messages to each other and she also helped me with my problems.

But she gave me so much love and support that I unconsciously started using her as a mainstay. She was also completely open to me. She said she could see me and feel what I thought even when I was not with her. A few days later I told her that I am in love with her and that I even love her and I really mean that. She herself had feelings for me, but she couldn’t place it properly, she said.

And also because I became so dependent on her, she decided to let me go . And I have never felt so miserable so lonely and sad I have cried for days I have never felt so terribly rotten. But so much has happened in that short time. I have grown so enormously spiritually. I now observe things that I could not do before. I had decided for myself that I now had to start looking for love in myself and I succeeded in that I could finally continue living with me again.

But last week I spoke to her via MSN and then she wanted to see me again. I was so scared to see her again. Afraid to experience the same terrible feeling again because I am still crazy about her. She told me that night that she has feelings for me. I told her; I think it’s really crazy that I have picked up my life so quickly . Because I never felt how miserable I felt that night when you left me. She then told me that she irradiated me spiritually.
I did not quite understand. But we had such a nice evening but when I think back now I started to get expectations with her again. And after that evening, she acted briefly against me and kept her distance from me again. I really don’t know what to do with her.

A few years ago a priest told me what my future wife would look like and he described her exactly, really funny. I also have the feeling that she is the one for me. But you know I sometimes get so tired of it, I have completely exposed myself to what I feel for her. And she doesn’t want to do that yet, I think that’s a shame . She also says she’s not sure if I have the right love for her. She thinks it is more a friendly love because she has helped me so much. But I am convinced that it is not so.