S041. I started accepting myself for what I am


I saw her and I thought: This is it!I did not know then that it was soul love, I only found out later. I don’t know if my soul love discovered it then, I don’t even know if she knows or sees it. I was the first to think that I was in love and began to doubt my orientation. I knew right away that it was not really ordinary love, but much deeper. When I read an article about soul love I knew for sure, the love I felt was soul love! Because before I knew that I was trying to stop the feeling, I really felt free when I could let it go. I had received some sort of permission from myself to let it go. It started to feel better, stronger, deeper and so it became the most beautiful feeling I have ever felt. It gave me so much strength and positive energy that sometimes I could hardly keep it to myself. I have no relationship with my soul love. We care a bit in age and are in a difficult situation. Because it is my teacher. I would not want a love relationship with her because I just do not want that at all, it is more just having contact and talking to each other. I long for the feeling of coming home. Become one with her. We have no real bond with each other. I would like to, but the situation just isn’t there. She is my teacher, even if she would see it or want it, it would not be possible. She is also not the type to tell and neither is I, so even though we would both feel it, I don’t think we’re coming together. It would be really beautiful and also the sweetest thing I want, that we know each other and that we just get a very good friendship. Now I have to restrain myself so as not to show it. And sometimes it makes me feel so bad. It has made my life so much better! I’m glad I feel it, because it’s so incredibly beautiful. ‘Normal’ love suddenly doesn’t interest me anymore, now that I know what else there is.I started accepting myself for what I am, that is the most important thing of all.
Eye contact is the best thing we have. Her eyes speak, mirroring her inwardly. She is always very cheerful and spontaneous, but when I talk to her I see something completely different. Total surrender, it seems . That she listens to me and that she sympathizes with me. The look she has is so touching. The only way to really make contact with her is to look into her eyes and see what she really feels.
For me, soul love is a very intense love at a very high level. Unconditional, just an incredibly beautiful feeling. If you see that you feel your soul love, then you can convert the first contained emotions into something very beautiful!