S038. I think he showed me the way. And by that way I have now lost it


I saw him, he saw me, I walked over to him, we got into a conversation until the club closed, we both didn’t want to go home and had to sit in the park watching the dogs playing under his back jacket, talk and talk, all very casual, very relaxed. In the evening I went home, the next day I came across friends of him who called him that I was sitting on the terrace. He came to me, continued to eat me and we lived two weeks as Yoko Ono and Lennon in my room of 2 by 3. We ordered pizza, wine and ben and jerry’s. We beamed, it was intense, sometimes so intense that it became frightening a force that we could not stop.
When we got to know each other I was in school, this would only take two months, but only wanted to be with him. And I did that for weeks we did things together it was summer we often lay in the park good food, a good book, the sun shining and company of each other. That’s how we got to know each other. I still love and feel how he is and in life he has inspired me insanely. I have learned many things and my view of things has changed.

In the end we each went our own way because our roads no longer ran together. he got in the way of my development and vice versa. We are both still young, it still hurts, but we know that otherwise we would have more pain. He is happier now without me because he does what he wants to do and I am happier this way. We just didn’t fit together anymore. Maybe in a few years when we meet again it will work if we both did what we wanted to do. Now we have no relationship and little contact. I don’t need a relationship with him at the moment but I would like more contact with him.

Our soul love has brought me recognition and I think he has shown me the way. And by that way I have now lost it

I think the most special thing was that we had enough together for the first few weeks. Nothing could come between us. “We were like Bonnie and Clyde.”

I feel that I always stay connected with him. I also always say ‘if we are really meant for each other we will come together again’. Could this be cliché? It is hard to comprehend that I have experienced this love with him so intensely and that it would stay here … but then, time will tell.