S034. I began to notice things but suppressed them by thinking rationally

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My search for myself, partly due to a slight authism, I started to work on myself, first of all to become more involved in regular society. I had decided to express myself openly in my way on a forum where people are busy with spirituality. My expressions were very hard and the comparisons too. By expressing myself like this, there were few who really had something to tell me, immediately I noticed texts from someone who touched me that way. A photo of her enchanted me in a way I can call unprecedented. We started talking on msn, every glance of her touched me and I recognized. But yes nonsense! I began to notice things but suppressed them by thinking rationallyoh well this lady is married has kids, ready! She was divorcing, jealousy broke her PC, and we started calling each other, her voice sounded exactly like the voice I heard in my dream, and even woke up in the dream. I had to know who she is! And what it is in me is so deeply triggered! We agreed to go out for a drink and get to know each other and to both know what this really is against all laws because we are not normally like that. Until the moment she touched me by just taking my hand, we shuddered and lost. We experience everything intensively, including the less pleasant things and this causes us a lot of confusion. We want to learn to deal with this. We experience each other and are protected by something or what. I sometimes have a sort of epilepsy in my head for 3 or 4 seconds that we both experience. People who stand in our way or make it impossible for us sometimes perceive this as strongly negative and scary. I can’t imagine a love without the positive intensity of this. it’s like comparing a goldfish with a poodle. we have already changed each other released phone number, email address gone. ready to forget everything! But I think it’s impossible! Half an I without her. No her without her. But I think it’s impossible! Half an I without her. No her without her. But I think it’s impossible! Half an I without her. No her without her.
I wish everyone strength because it is HIGH!