S000P07 How can you build a good relationship with someone if you actually want to be with that other person?


One day my partner told me that she had met someone on the internet that she had known in her childhood. The girl lived not far from us and one evening she started to wear our GPS so that the girl could use it.
That girl came to our house that evening because she was beaten by her ‘jealous friend’ and my partner had to and will take care of her. I am a good and caring person with the heart in the right place and I took the girl under our roof. I was worried about the situation and comforted her with my partner. But … that girl just kept living with us and I noticed that my partner could get along better with her than with me. I saw sparkles in their eyes when they spoke to each other and laughed about things I knew nothing about. That hurt. My first reaction: anger and jealousy.
I confronted my partner and he got angry because I was jealous of something I didn’t have to be jealous of. She said that she had found her soulmate and that it was not easy. She said that she no longer knew what to do and that I had to give her space to find out. Not easy!!! Certainly not if that person walks around in your own house every day and chats and laughs with your partner until the early hours while you are in bed because you have to go to work the next day. I feed bad, unhappy, sad, powerless, worthless and, above all, indecisive. I no longer knew what to think or feel about it. I only felt that I was pushed aside and then in our own house. I listed the positive and negative points of our relationship. Our relationship was also not great for this. In my mind I decided to leave and I did it in the only way that my heart allowed this. I came home from work, saw that my partner and her soul love were sleeping in one bed. I became even more angry and grabbed my bags where they were. A real fight and even a fight arose. My partner stopped me ….
We chatted about what I expected from our relationship. I just wanted to have the feeling of being part of a family, doing things together with the two of us and with her daughter. I love her and her daughter dearly. We’ve only known each other for two years, but it seems eternal and I see her daughter as my daughter. However, I notice that she thinks otherwise.
She keeps repeating that she does not want a relationship with her soul love and that she has no sexual or relational relationship with it. I want to believe that with all my heart, but it’s soooooooo difficult !!
I know somewhere that she has no sexual relationship with her soul love, but every day that I see her soul love in our home, my heart breaks again. Every day I try to convince myself of the positive and to believe in the success of our relationship.
I find it heartbreaking to continue in this situation. I don’t feel happy this way and sometimes wonder if this is the way I want to continue my life. I think a lot about giving up my relationship, but my heart doesn’t allow it.
I have also read a few letters, emails and messages in which they address each other as sweet and sweet and in which they say they want to be in each other’s arms. That hurts a lot to read such things.
When I talk to my partner about it, I get two types of answers.
1. she gets angry and says that my jealousy must be over because that I push her away that way and that then our relationship will be done faster than I think.
2. She says that I have to become more positive and alive again in life and that I have to stand up for myself because I am now too much attached to her. I have to realize that the love for her soulmate is different from the feelings she has towards me.
My reaction:
How can you build a good relationship with someone if you actually want to be with that other person? How can you love your partner if your whole heart would rather be with the other person? The other person is so much more fun, understands so much more and is so much more interesting. What then is the value of the relationship with your partner?
I want to stay positive and believe and do my utmost every day, but it demands a lot of my emotions and I notice that with each confrontation I go down a depth.