Q1408. Advice, How should I deal with this situation? What do you advise me?


Me and my twinflame have both grown up for almost 30 years and I notice that we both want to settle down. We have been in each other’s lives for over 20 years, and I can only describe it as an open relationship, with the agreement to build a future together when we are ready. Now that the time has come, he is now choosing another woman to do this with. Since 4 months my twinflame has entered into a relationship with another woman. It is the first time that one of us really enters into a relationship in life. Since half a year I am aware of the twinflame dynamics between us. For this I simply did not know about existence. Everything now falls into place. I now also understand why it goes as it goes between us. I can now understand that it is the fears that stand between us. Do I have to tell him this? In the summer of 2014 he came back to my life after a long journey of 2 years. He was right there again as my best friend, as if he had never left. In the summer of 2015 we talked to each other not to be ready for a relationship together, it was good as it went and we both enjoyed the freedom. I have no idea why I agreed with that at the time, I really wanted nothing more than to have a relationship together. Yet there was something in me that said that he was not ready yet, that I had to give him the space and so I did. In the months that followed, another woman came into his life with whom he started dating seriously. At first he didn’t tell me about that crush, but when I started asking about it, he started to share this process with me. As if he did it in consultation with me. So he basically kept both of us on the line. This was no longer the case after more than half a year of dating, the other girl really wanted a relationship that he rejected. As a result, she broke off all contact (early summer 2016). In that period my twinflame and I visited each other more often but this time on a friendly basis. I did not understand this at all, felt that being together made so much more for us both that what he allowed. He struggled with his feelings for both of us, but I didn’t get a chance to get him in either. I became completely confused with myself. He always visited me and rejected me very hard. Until at the end of last year he came to tell from one day to the next that he had followed his feeling of lack of contact with the girl after 5 months and wanted to give her wish for a relationship together a chance. He was not yet in love, but it felt good, she fitted well into his life, there were no quarrels and it seemed as if the break of 5 months had never been like that. He said he was so tired and had booked a holiday with her to show her that she seriously wanted to give it a chance. (I can only think, yes I am also exhausted and horribly tired. That vacation is not going to help you that fatigue comes together through our energy, is this right?) The moment he told me about his relationship choice literally the world collapsed my feet away. I didn’t know what to do at all, so unexpectedly. I seized the moment to tell him that he could have chosen for me, asked why he didn’t make the choice for me and whether I was alone in my feelings toward him. A distant conversation ensued with only the message that he thinks I have romanticized everything between us in my head. And that he no longer had the feeling of 2 years ago. I find it strange that during the entire conversation he did not call this girl by her name but girl, and also stated that he was not in love, but still wanted to find out. Totally confused, I left sad after a farewell hug and few words. A week later I received a message asking how are you? To which I said that I did not know how to proceed between us and that I did not want to contact him for the time being. That is how it was his birthday when I was not present and I did not hear from me. (I couldn’t handle the idea that I would see them together) At Christmas I received a message with the message that he wanted to send a message but did not know if it was allowed het And on Monday morning the day before Valentine’s Day a message with the message that it was a very long time ago now and if he could already know how I am doing. We are now 4 months further and I have not responded to his messages and have not seen him since the day he told me about his relationship. In the meantime, he has also been on vacation. No matter how much I want it, I really don’t know how to deal with him now that he’s in a relationship. I do not want to be the one who looks on the sidelines or be the one who adjusts to HIS situation. But in the meantime I miss him terribly. As if I have started a grieving process. I would really like to know how he is doing here. In the meantime everything changed in my life. I have to leave my house unexpectedly, for me the sign that something is really not going well. I feel he should be there, we could live together now. Everything was always so good between us. I am so afraid that he will now shape his life with her, living together, maybe starting a family. We are talking about 3 months of relationship I know but still this fear is so strong in me. Why does he do this to me, does he run so fast away from me. What should I do with myself now? No matter how hard I try, I can’t stand myself up for other men at all. Do I do well not to have contact with my twinflame? My intention with this is to let him feel in this way that I am no longer there now that he chooses someone else.