Q1285 Wrong start or not the right one?


I am a man of 51 and now 10 years with my girlfriend we have a son of five and my question has been twice in love with someone else since our relationship, now I think we have lived alongside each other but I have remained loyal to her and now I have nostalgia almost every day if you can take it that way but I often lie awake because of it she works a long day from nine to nine and when she comes home the kiss is kiss and then I already get a deep sad feeling because our son is still between us and when she comes to bed it is superficial talking if it comes but she is more concerned with Facebook than with us and if that was once or twice a week then it is so far that I speak to us that we are not there yet that I do not want her relaxation but she demands attention and gets my attention and thenI think our son is also still there and if you can app hours with someone then you can also give us some attention and but when I finally address her I do not say to criticize you but your son is your everything you say always but in practice I don’t see it you can app hours with others but not five minutes attention for us and then I say if it is not up to me but our son then he is still your everything and I do not feel the attention yours that he should have and this does not happen two or three times a week but six seven times and once or twice every fourteen days it gets too much for me and I tell her but she does not do anything with it and I actually think it already go far that I must remind her that we also have a guy and that he also needs attention and then our love life is usuallyonly focused on her I go out empty when I say so well I know that I am not the perfect daddy but that I do my best and always try to learn from my mistakes.I notice that I often wake up in bed in the evening when she and our son are asleep with tears in my eyes and pain in my soul just because I feel that it can and must be done differently but there must be two for it and actually it every day in the evening the same ritual she drinks every night under the guise she can sleep better and I do not agree that I don’t drink that much but usually she and every night maybe actually stupid of me to go along with that but that has grown so I call it but I call it emotionally cheating what she did or what happened to her but she says she loves me and the problem is that I don’t feel or notice when it comes down to it because she leaves everything over her come but nothing comes back to me such a one-way traffic I keep myself that is because we have lived past each other but how longbefore that horror comes when it comes right so that my feelings do not always get those nostalgic moments or blows I have been to a therapist but she did not want to go to a relationship therapist but I notice that I am under it and that inner intense feeling what I feel for her is not answered and that it eventually fades away and if I want to talk about it she feels attacked which is not my approach but I do get the feeling that she does not care how I feel, I leave the herewith and the story perhaps jumps from the heel to the branch now and then but as a whole perhaps a certain hint in one or more directions.

Answer 1
Draw your conclusion, you are not happy and you deserve better. Take the step that you have to take and everything (ultimately, not immediately!) Will be better for you. If you have the feeling that you have done everything, it is sufficient. You can’t change someone. You hope continuous improvement, but it will not come this way. Not really. Get in touch with your feelings and follow it, then you will come into your power. So go live your own life and don’t focus on her anymore (that’s what she does too). You are responsible for your own happiness and that of your son and she for her happiness. Get rid of her, in the relationship or outside, but go live yourself, take steps. It’s hard, but you can do it! It is not possible to predict what will happen, but in any case the tide will turn for you, stand blank and hope for nothing. Strength! (Unknown)

Answer 2
You ask “started wrong or not the right one?” I think both. Your girlfriend does not want to change her behavior, even after you (often) address her. You have a child who needs her attention, but she is too busy with other things. It may sound loud, but if you do not intervene, go under this: set her an ultimatum. She must stop facebooking and apping with another man as long as she is with you. It’s going too far. Maybe she feels more for the other person, but then she must be clear about that and you can ask about it. So have a good conversation tonight and demand honesty. It can be hard what you hear, but better than staying in the vacuum. I think she’s doing a lot wrong, even if she’s in love, and even though that might be on a twinflame, it is never the intention of a twinflame love to build happiness on the sorrow of others. (Unknown)