Q1252. Can this ever be fine?


Until the end of November there was a breakthrough and we got back to each other … It was a bit awkward at first, because at first I did not dare to ask anything about the situation for fear of repelling him back from me. Soon there appeared to be feelings and he even came to me to celebrate old and new together… Although I myself had not even mentioned a relationship, he quickly felt the suffocation there again and still do not know if he was really ready for a relationship … Even though he was thinking and making decisions in my place without ever talking to me about it … Again there was a 2 month silence until he was open to it once a have a decent conversation about it. While I had prepared for myself that we were going to close our chapter because his feeling was no longer there for me, that despite having hurt me so much this time, I still love to see him … Hence my question as to whether this will ever be okay once they have crossed your border and are worth your forgiveness …! Is a feeling I have never had … So contradictory … Now I am the one who broke the contact because what he will be doing hurts me too much and shows no respect towards me in my eyes … But I still remain him miss and feel him in my presence when I close my eyes … Anyone have any advice?

Answer 1
Perhaps it helps you to focus your attention more on your own needs. Yes you like him, but is your relationship enough and joyful for you in this way? Does he see how special you are and that you deserve the very best? Do you see it yourself? (Unknown)

Answer 2
I have experienced something similar. It took more than 1.5 years. Attract, repel, attract, repel. It will destroy you. And it will continue as long as you don’t let go. I felt strengthened when I read books about borderline and about psychopathy. And it doesn’t mean that I don’t love him. I love him dearly, but even more recently, and I will not let myself be destroyed. It is HIS problem and HIS lack and I can NOT help him with that. He will have to do it YOURSELF .. And if not, then not. Get well soon! (Unknown)