Q0395. How further?

Unknown

How am I supposed to continue, 2 months ago he called me again and until now I have heard nothing from him. Sometimes it goes better than the other time, but I continue to miss him so much that I no longer know how to proceed. Sometimes I am really lost and very sad, what is the purpose of this? Wish sometimes I had never experienced it, soul love! So beautiful, so painful, so confusing

Answer
The pain sometimes causes you to wish it never happened. But no matter how difficult it is / becomes, there is a reason for it. Do not doubt that. Search for that reason. That will help you too. Soul love simply has a very light side, but also an extremely dark side. Of course I don’t know how long you’ve been in this situation. And whether you have ever had a relationship. In the end, that is not as important as there is soul love in the game. No matter how awful cliché it may sound, I know exactly what you’re going through. It sometimes feels like you’re going crazy. But you call the beast by its name, that’s nice. So it is soul love. And there are no normal relationship laws. Everything has been magnified in soul love country. Joy, but certainly also sadness. And also the lack. The lack that sometimes seems to devour your soul. You will not be able to stop it just like that. Unfortunately. Sometimes it just needs some time to pass. I don’t know if you have a pattern of attracting / repelling. How I understand it is that he doesn’t want to be with you at the moment. Let me tell you this: do not let the situation persist for too long with regard to attracting / repelling. That can sometimes become a vicious circle. I can know. Set limits. Please do not lose sight of yourself. If it hurts you too much, you have to take a distance, let it go for a while. And then see how it goes. If the person is your soul love, he does not consciously hurt you, but he cannot help it either. You are the only one who can consciously choose YOU. Have the courage to let go. It is really that simple as I say it now, even if it is scary: If it should be that way, it will happen. If not, then you already learn to take distance. I know how heartbreaking it is. But that’s the way it is. Have courage. I am not saying that you should / can let go of hope. Whatever happens, you will never lose that hope in the case of true soul love. You will learn to cope better with the pain, but I have to be honest and say that sadness can always unexpectedly arise again. In my experience. It always went best with me if I continued, following my own path. Be the person you want to be. Do not lose yourself in your mirror, no matter how much you love him / her. I have had to learn the ‘hard way’, but I now realize that the closer you are to yourself, the closer you are to love. I wish you lots of strength and love! (Unknown) I am not saying that you should / can let go of hope. Whatever happens, you will never lose that hope in the case of true soul love. You will learn to cope better with the pain, but I have to be honest and say that sadness can always unexpectedly arise again. In my experience. It always went best with me if I continued, following my own path. Be the person you want to be. Do not lose yourself in your mirror, no matter how much you love him / her. I have had to learn the ‘hard way’, but I now realize that the closer you are to yourself, the closer you are to love. I wish you lots of strength and love! (Unknown) I am not saying that you should / can let go of hope. Whatever happens, you will never lose that hope in the case of true soul love. You will learn to cope better with the pain, but I have to be honest and say that sadness can always unexpectedly arise again. In my experience. It always went best with me if I continued, following my own path. Be the person you want to be. Do not lose yourself in your mirror, no matter how much you love him / her. I have had to learn the ‘hard way’, but I now realize that the closer you are to yourself, the closer you are to love. I wish you lots of strength and love! (Unknown) but I have to be honest and say that sadness can always unexpectedly arise again. In my experience. It always went best with me if I continued, following my own path. Be the person you want to be. Do not lose yourself in your mirror, no matter how much you love him / her. I have had to learn the ‘hard way’, but I now realize that the closer you are to yourself, the closer you are to love. I wish you lots of strength and love! (Unknown) but I have to be honest and say that sadness can always unexpectedly arise again. In my experience. It always went best with me if I continued, following my own path. Be the person you want to be. Do not lose yourself in your mirror, no matter how much you love him / her. I have had to learn the ‘hard way’, but I now realize that the closer you are to yourself, the closer you are to love. I wish you lots of strength and love! (Unknown)

Answer
From a very special woman, I have received advice that works: do not expect anything, am happy with every second of contact you get, find happiness in yourself and not in the other and feel that you have been chosen to know that someone is who can’t help but love you. Let soul love be a gift and not a burden. (Unknown)

Reaction
Thank you for your advice, I know I have to let it go and continue with my life and as much as I want it, somehow I can’t. He once told me to hold it in the palm of my hand, not too cramped, but to wear it so that it does not slip through my fingers. Every day I resolve to cherish it and to be happy that I was allowed to experience this, in the end there are few people who are allowed to experience this, but it hurts me too much. There are times when I think I can let it go, I am less concerned with him, but then he suddenly reports again. And every time I resolve that I no longer want to speak or see him, but then I am kidding myself because I want to see, speak and hold him. Wish my feeling towards him was not that strong, I feel him daily, I feel his unrest, I feel when he thinks of me, there is a way to turn this off, I don’t think so! I have to find a way to deal with this, otherwise it will no longer be necessary for me and I do not want to continue. (Unknown)

Answer
You write that you want to be happy that you were allowed to experience this, but that is exactly it, you are still experiencing it. You can no longer see it separately from your own life, but you do learn to live with it. I have picked up my own life by doing my own things, I have gone crazy with everyone’s expectations, because it suits them better! Who do you live for? Let it happen and go with your own flow, don’t be told what to do. We also have the periods of months not seeing each other, we are not looking for contact in any other way either, and that is good because you can grow and learn to look at yourself properly. do your own things and don’t pull together. Only when you are strong in your own strength can you handle such a love, because it is a huge challenge in which you cannot dive too fast, you have to be ready for it and then you will have to find a way that lets each other free and that also continues together .. in which you choose each other in complete freedom, without imposed rules from others (because that goes between you and from each other (without brackets and dependencies). This love is too beautiful for a middle way, this love can be there completely if you are both ready for it. Your sadness and your desire remain (I have too), but hope and confidence give you courage to continue with your own life. Patience it’s so hard! (Unknown) This love is too beautiful for a middle way, this love can be there completely if you are both ready for it. Your sadness and your desire remain (I have too), but hope and confidence give you courage to continue with your own life. Patience it’s so hard! (Unknown) This love is too beautiful for a middle way, this love can be there completely if you are both ready for it. Your sadness and your desire remain (I have too), but hope and confidence give you courage to continue with your own life. Patience it’s so hard! (Unknown)

Answer
I’m the one who gave you the first answer. And I am now going to be lovingly strict. I respect the feeling of not wanting to live on. I have had that thought more often. However, here comes the butchery: afterwards I was always very shocked and was very disappointed in myself. This life is also a gift. There are so many people who do not want to die and have no choice because they are sick. This is your life. Realize this. Soul love does not mean that you are Siamese twins. Because no matter how it may feel, you can do without the other. You are still alive and that is not without reason. I don’t take suicide lightly. People who rob themselves of life for such a reason immediately prove that they were definitely not ready for this kind of love. And then the cycle starts again. Apart from the sorrow that your loved ones would have AND your soul love. Because from your story I conclude that he also sees this as soul love. That is actually a big blessing. You don’t tell how long! you already go through this, actually that is important information. I’ve been going through this for a long time, and the quarter how I have to deal with this has only recently fallen. That took a long time. And what I now call the quarter is probably not even the ultimate truth. If I told you my story, you wouldn’t believe me. Realize that it can always be worse. I have encountered so many obstacles on my way. And I have given up so many times, I know it is impossible to really let go, but as the wise person in the answer above said: it takes time, you have to develop yourself. Don’t lose yourself in sorrow. It is indeed a gift. You have received fantastic answers here, but they do not mean anything if you remain stuck in yourself. Step over your shadow. Because that shadow is only that, an illusion, it is not your life and not love. You must walk away from fear. He is actually the worst counselor ever. You are blessed with this love, feel that too. Try to find that light and don’t just give up. I also think that you should try to talk to your love. The advice he gave you is very wise, but realize that he is not above you and that you are his equal. You are each other’s teachers. He not yours. It took me a long time to realize that in some areas I was much further than my twin. And in some areas it is much further. So in the end we are right. That is the supplement. You don’t have to believe all this. But I have gone through all stages. And there may come a time when you choose for yourself. Because you can’t help it. But it can also be different for you. And I sincerely hope so. Realize that this love has been given to you to learn love. And not just love for that one person. But certainly also for yourself. And that means that you want to stay alive. You will have to go through that lesson. To transcend that feeling, you are greater than the loss, your sorrow. Again I know. I have died spiritually a few times. And although I was alive, I did not LIVE. I arrive in the light just after a difficult period. But that does not only have to do with your love, but much more with your own wounds and weaknesses. It is the ultimate confrontation with yourself. And sometimes that is hard to distinguish from lack. But I am currently experiencing a resurrection, the best aspects of my old self I am slowly finding. That has given me many moments of real joy. I see myself through the good lens now. Furthermore, I also completely agree with the person above. It has already become part of your life and if this is real, it will never go away. And I also see no middle ground. And believe me, I have searched for a long time. But it is better not to see each other sometimes for long periods if you are not together. Out of respect for each other’s lives. You must give the other person the opportunity to continue. That is only respect. I have sometimes made my twin half crazy (and myself too) by having too much contact. As tempting as that may seem, if one of the two is not ready, that doesn’t work. Again strength and love. And the one above, I also want to thank you for your answer. You confirm something that I went through and had to realize. (especially the below) It is SO true. And I agree with the rest. Thanks. ‘I picked up my own life by doing my own things, I was crazy about everyone’s expectations, because it suits them better! Who do you live for? Let it happen and go with your own flow, don’t be told what to do. “(Juul) by doing my own things, I got crazy about everyone’s expectations, because it suits them better! Who do you live for? Let it happen and go with your own flow, don’t be told what to do. “(Juul) by doing my own things, I got crazy about everyone’s expectations, because it suits them better! Who do you live for? Let it happen and go with your own flow, don’t be told what to do. “(Juul)
Reaction Thank you, I also understand your answer, I have gone through all the stages, have literally been on the ground (a few times) howling with misery .. days of struggle, years of missing, months not seeing etc. yet it is worth it, as long as you keep looking at yourself .. there will come another time … hope! (unknown)

Reaction
Hi Juul, I will call you by name to avoid confusion. Yes, you are right that I must be happy that I can live and be healthy. I am well aware that when I have these thoughts, I fall back into my own ego. This is something I do not want even though the thought is sometimes more often than I would like, but no worries I have too much to pass for. (2 children and a darling of a granddaughter) Yeah, I would already be oldsoul love knows no age, I was 45 years old when I met him and now 48, so it’s not so bad, is it? In the last 2 years I have learned a lot from my twin, he finally showed me that I can be there and can be proud of myself with what I have achieved. I dare to say now, yes I am proud of myself, I have chosen for myself, I have followed my own path and this is who I am !!!! I feel that he is further than I am with regard to ‘letting go’ and he has made clear choices about us, (for the time being) no contact because that is too painful for both of us. I also know that I don’t need him to be happy, we talked about that too, and I manage that very often, but he gives that little bit more color to my life. Often, not always, can I respect his choice that he chooses to stay with his wife, even when this causes me a lot of sorrow. I know from him myself that I am always in his mind and he knows from me that I, too, think about him daily and for NOW this is enough for me. I love him unconditionally, and whatever he does or doesn’t do, I don’t care, his happiness is everything to me, I don’t necessarily need a relationship with him, I just want him to know that he is happy and me that will occasionally let you know. I am not entitled to anything, not even to contact him, he is not my property, but I do know that I have the right to be happy myself, with or without him, and that is what I intend to do . Be and stay happy. You know, I have often asked myself the question as a young girl, there must be someone in this world who is the same as me, and then you meet him unexpectedly, your other ‘half’, the missing part of your soul and yet it has no future and brings it, next to the incredibly beautiful moments , a lot of misery. And then again I am not talking about friends and family who do not understand this at all, who say that he wants to eat from two sides, while I know that that was never his intention and never was. The moment we saw each other for the first time was for both of them the feeling of coming home, really being home together !! Respect each other for who we are, our paths have gone so very different over the years and yet so the same Even friends, who later saw the photos of us together, had the same feeling, the smile on his face, so special! I know that I, too, occasionally drive him crazy with my text messages, e-mails and msn messages, I try to get in touch with him again and again and I know that I must leave him alone and that he will come when he is ready. What I also want to say is that I am grateful to you that you wanted to give answers to my question, I can do something with this, because you know so well what I am going through. I have sought help from the regular authorities but they know nothing about soul love, I can’t blame them either, you have to experience it first to know that it really exists. I just think it’s great that this site exists and take much comfort from it, knowing that I am not the only one struggling with a soul’s love. I know that I am not “crazy” and that I am not “romanticizing” but I am especially sure that this is REAL, soul love !!!!! And if there’s a life after this, I made him this promise, I’ll be there to meet him! lfs (LJ)

Answer
I am very happy that, among other things, my answer helped you. I recognize that others who have not experienced it do not understand. No matter how terrible that is, it is also understandable. Let it go, the frustration about it will only cost you energy. But that is difficult, I say it to myself just as much. Age is just a number.I am a bit younger, but I have been confronted with this quite young. And how things are now, I think it was a long baptism of fire for the rest of my life. I have concluded that a romantic relationship was never the intention. Our lifestyle is completely different. We are ‘only’ a soul. In the inner of our inner. In normal life we ​​had been a disaster. Only lasted a long time for my heart to understand. My soul already knew better. But we have been brought up with the idea that a band automatically means a relationship, a relationship RELATION, only that kite does not always apply to soul love. Your answer already sounded much more positive and I’m happy about that. Even if it is ‘over’ to me, I would like it if I can help others. And also like if you and your twin ever find a way to deal with it that no longer hurts. The pain is needed, but I think it should stop at some point. After all these years a climax has come to me, and then something has broken. In me. Can’t explain it either, but it was the proverbial last straw. I used to be able to put my ego aside, I can’t do it anymore. You would say decline, but I think part of my ego is protecting me now. (or eventually a trait of twin that I have now appropriated, he had a strong self-image) I have defeated myself, despite the unconditional love that is certain and for which we do not have to regret. However, it is never too late. I just hope you understand that the band will always be there, even if you ever decide to put an end to it. Everyone’s time. I wish somebody had said that to me before. That choosing for yourself is very important. It is an interesting trip. A roller coaster ride. That anyway. May he finish well. I still hope for you in this life. And otherwise as you said in a following. But never let the pain get too much. Rather feel love from a distance than the soul-shattering pull-off pain. Choose your life if you ever felt that it would no longer happen. (I already felt quite at the beginning that in this life we ​​would never be together and that it would always be difficult for me.) A predictive intuitive inspiration? I fought against it for a long time, though.) It doesn’t matter what there is. The lesson is (sometimes) unfortunately also learned to live without confirmation from the other person. Whether you are together or not. Very difficult. I know. It is scary after all this time, like swimming without straps, but I am ecstatic that I can do it. And that I dare. And that I now dare to carry out dreams. There will always be a spark of hope, but I now also face the other side. Each phase has its own reward. It goes from light to gray to pitch black and back. But at least you will be fine, you have already learned to let go and you know what unconditional love is. Hold on to love! (Juul) There will always be a spark of hope, but I now also face the other side. Each phase has its own reward. It goes from light to gray to pitch black and back. But at least you will be fine, you have already learned to let go and you know what unconditional love is. Hold on to love! (Juul) There will always be a spark of hope, but I now also face the other side. Each phase has its own reward. It goes from light to gray to pitch black and back. But at least you will be fine, you have already learned to let go and you know what unconditional love is. Hold on to love! (Juul)

Answer
Hi Juul, have you always had that feeling that you will never be together-together with your twin or was it more of a fatalistic feeling, so I resign myself, which I get a bit out of your story, because you twin is stuck? instead of an intuitive inspiration ..? is itself so with this problem, I have namely always thought that twin and I would come together and not my twin .. both intuitive promptings and yet not equal .. how is that with you? (Juul)