Q0171. This is not in love, certainly … but what the hell is this? What do I do with this? Am I dreaming?

Unknown

Confusion and surprise everywhere, by someone I don’t know, never seen or heard. My question: what is this ??? I am a happy 45-year-old married, very down-to-earth realistic woman, who likes to converse frequently and via chat and msn. A few months ago there was a man on the chat who, after his first typed sentence, I was completely upset, … for no apparent reason, this gave me a feeling that cannot be precisely defined. And this was mutual. He describes this feeling as a vibration in himself. I felt a warmth from him that touched my soul. Words and feelings of which I didn’t understand the meaning. This was not “normal”, and I felt that this contact should not be lost … this too was mutual. Our next conversations were on msn, where our photos were exchanged. His photo hit me like a bomb … boy those eyes. As a child I had “something” with certain blue eyes … I was overwhelmed by a fascinating and melancholy feeling. Now I looked in those eyes for the first time, on a photo! “Recognition” was the first word and feeling that came to mind. There is a common thread between us that I feel is getting shorter and shorter. He feels my energy, feels his blood, feels me. I feel something! and how he feels, we complement each other’s sentences. A feeling of “he is me”, “I am him”, “we are one”. Magnetic, connectedness as well as freedom, warmth, overwhelming, blind faith, openness, sensuality, passion, completeness, a soothing peace, delightful soul happiness … are the emotions he evokes in me, but above all an unconditional love that stirs more than just the heart , to the depths of my soul. He is my mirror, turns me inside out without words, lets me know myself as I didn’t know, brings out emotions that I didn’t know. Feeling at a higher level. Although together on mns – many miles apart – I sometimes have the feeling of being physically with him, feeling him physically … touching him. I feel for the first time what the word “stimulating the senses” literally means. Not just – unusual – excessively beautiful, often moved to tears, flood of feeling. An indefinable all-embracing feeling. An exceptional mirror… Although we have never seen each other before, I experience an irresistible urge to look into those eyes, to gauge the depth – to the depth of his soul, to feel the recognition confirmed. …but I am scared, afraid to see my intense feelings confirmed in his eyes on the one hand, and not to see them confirmed on the other. This is not in love, certainly … but what the hell is this? What do I do with this? Am I dreaming? Have I lost the north?

Answer
I believe in predestination … everything has been described throughout your life, but people make their own choices .. sometimes with reason and not with feeling or from the heart: remember that true love always wins. Even if your mind says otherwise. (Unknown)

Answer
I recognize this all too well. The same thing happened to me alone, that person was already familiar and that intense feeling also arose during chatting. It is confusing and indescribable, but it has made me lose myself. Eventually I fell in love more and with a family, both friends also, an impossible situation. I still think it was soul love because there was so much recognition. As if I knew everything remotely. Still actually, he lives nearby and we have no contact anymore but I feel it when he drives by. That is very often true and sometimes I literally think that he feels bad or feels good. But I can’t do anything with it anymore and recently I have often wondered if I didn’t want to see it that way. Because I don’t know if he experiences that and has experienced it that way. The feeling is so close to falling in love and I have never encountered myself this way. Being able to “talk” with him really became an addiction because I partly recovered myself. I discovered feelings that I didn’t know existed anymore. I recommend that you be careful from experience. I did everything wrong that was possible in this situation. Rejecting myself and my loved ones and that is now 1.5 years ago but still haunts me daily. It took me a lot of pain and sorrow to get over it and I was literally sick. I can’t help but let go, but I suffer from it daily, mainly because I see him regularly. I would prefer to move but that is also not an option. So this discovery is wonderful but at the same time your life will never be the same again. Good luck and keep some distance as far as possible to protect yourself and your family is my advice. I hope you manage to be part of each other without fear, pain, confusion, guilt or shame and without having to hurt other people. (Unknown)

Answer
I also recognize this exactly. I think you can never be happy again. After your soul love. And that at some point you still make the choice to continue with your soul love. Your feeling will always dominate. Feeling never wins over sense. Do you want to hurt a family? You first get into a big hell situation when you get divorced, because you put your entire family upside down. Before you get out of that hell, it will also take its time. Because it is not a car that you put away for a moment. Your heart will always be with your soul love. I think you can never be happy again without your soul love, because you have now come to know true love. Nobody can give you that warmth. That familiar, the peace that you need. (Unknown)