P0762. Sweetheart


This is my last message here,
Then I leave some space in between.
A lot has come up in a short time
And it brought out a lot of emotion

Your messages
came unexpectedly.
I was taken by surprise.

I am very grateful for your messages,
For your love and your warmth.

I missed you too. You never disappeared from my mind.
I have been carrying this with me for so long and I have never been able to look at it openly.
Thank you.

I know I’m not open a lot and I miss that too. I also often feel small and I am also afraid of being hurt. Know that I often do
n’t know what to do either.

I’ve missed you. Very. Sometimes I have the feeling that I cannot be as open to anyone as to you. You are a sweet and smart woman with a big heart and I admire you. Don’t be unsure about yourself because you are worth so much. Thank you for trusting me. I trust you.

I know I don’t always come across the way I want. It is the surface. The last days you let me look at the passing years. For me, that was mainly surface: stress and work. I am now looking for a balance between work and private life. Sometimes it is also very difficult.

Now it is quiet for me. I don’t really know where to go now. What do you have without that inner world? I asked myself what I actually achieved. You let me look at myself.

In recent years I have lived a bit on autopilot and mainly worked, and I have moments that are still very difficult for me: doubting, worrying, being insecure .. I am very quick in my thinking and do not trust my feelings enough yet .

I didn’t really want to share that with you. At a certain point in time I would have been so happy to have stood before you as someone with solid ground. But actually I often don’t feel that way. Sometimes it’s all a bit much. I long for you very much and sometimes I would like nothing more than to make the situation easier for me so that I could embrace you. Do you know? The situation brings up a lot in me and that is why I often distance myself and don’t say much.

Deep within myself, I know that I have to let go of you in order to return to myself and return to you in this way. I sometimes feel very dependent on you. I’m not done with myself yet. This is a hard lesson for me. I think that is very unfortunate because sometimes I do not want that at all, but that is the case. Sorry. Know that I don’t want to make it difficult for you in any way. I need space and rest and I want to break free from you again. Do you understand? Now everything has come back up and now I have to be just as strong and shake it off.

I have no expectations for the future and I trust the flow. Furthermore, I hope you understand everything a bit on my side and that I don’t leave you with too many questions.

Do not doubt that my love for you will disappear. Do not doubt yourself. You are a beautiful person and you are always in my heart. I am always close to you and I will not leave you my love. Do you sometimes feel my warmth for you?

You remain my sweetheart.

So, your last message. What a shame all. Wouldn’t this be the intention of your twin? If you are really twinflames, then that person will be the same type as you according to the Enneagram. Then he / she will feel exactly like that. Turn this event around and start seeing it as a practical joke! Then you get much more out of it. This is of course easier said than done.

This seems to be a direct response to my recently posted story from a year later and the situation referred to is only recognizable to “us” If so, I want you to know that I feel you very clearly! I know you are having a hard time and you are uncertain and therefore you remain at a distance. You must be deeply hurt and act out of self-preservation. I don’t blame you for that! You once told me that I am doing so much for myself but that money also goes for you dear! Feelings in whatever form, hiding away, does not make any sense, they persistently impose themselves anyway. Examine them, in silence, deep within yourself and you will find the peace and answers you are looking for. I’ll leave you wrong! I love you, never doubt that! You are afraid of losing me if you let me go but that is not the case! If only I would
wishing it just can’t be you 24/7 in my mind and in my heart! My beautiful big strong man, you are the love of my life!