S344. The choice is not mine


My twinflame is the most beautiful man I have ever seen. His eyes, his energy, his scent is something that will never be able to forget. His name gives me so many jitters that I start shaking. ZAKY is engraved in my heart. This feeling has never changed over time.

I have always wondered what has such a person seen in me?!?
No one existed for him, just me.
I never felt good enough or nice enough for him. I thought we just don’t fit together because we are different!
I was also very scared of this maddening feeling! He destroyed me by opening all the problems in me. And my mother was against that relationship …

So I am fleeing … in our relationship. He’s been behind me for a long time.
I wanted to flee and I succeeded. I thought it was too much for me and I always thought that we are too different and that I should just forget about him! I just deleted those voicemails, those e-mails … after listening and reading a thousand times.

I succeeded in breaking contact and then I met my husband with whom I am married. A wonderful person with whom I am happy. I could never cheat because I just respect my husband too much !! I wasn’t looking for anything else or anything.

And then after two years of friendship request from my twinflame. In the beginning I reacted calmly. He didn’t want to stop our conversations.
Wow … It was a year ago. And then it started with me. Recognition period … a lot of pain … I saw myself in his behavior … tears tears tears … I couldn’t work anymore, I thought I was going crazy !! I became so sick that it took me half a year to smile back. I saw my pride, my pain, my fleeing behavior, my wrong attitude towards people … I felt what he had once felt. AND THAT HAD PAIN!

One night I woke up and told my husband that I really love my twinflame and that it sounds mss strange but I miss him immensely.
I could not deny it anymore …

Our conversations with my twinflame … he told me he felt like a little child … I wanted to meet but my conscience didn’t … he wanted to meet but it just didn’t work … and then silence and talked back.

On a night of June 14 this year … I went to sleep. And what I felt is the most beautiful thing I have ever felt. I missed my twinflame because it was a two-month silence between us. It is very hard to describe because … I felt that my soul wanted something out of my body. I thought wow that looks like astral … The next night that happened too – my soul wanted to come out of my body. The next night I tried to relax and I felt something in my arm … A warm ray that was just present in my body. It was my twinflame and I tried to relax. And it started again … Telepathy started between us (I used to have it never so strong), I don’t even doubt that … I just know. He told me about his sister who has cancer … that he is terrified of losing her !! I felt what he felt … tears and then he told me that he loves me very much! Wow …

At work I started to feel weird things like … when he sniffs cocaine, when he is eating, when he is having sex and thinks about me. Wow feeling … ZAKY informed me that he is going through a difficult period and that he is not writing anything to me. He let me know which female perfume I should buy (the luna). And when I went shopping to buy it as a confirmation, I heard our song. “You’ll be my night light!”

If you read this it means that you also know, or mss already knew.
I am very grateful for everything. I love all the moments we have experienced. I really love your heart, your personality, your feelings towards me. I admire you … I have no right to want anything with you because … you know.
You are now somewhere abroad and you send me hearts on the sand … you send me ring and your wishes for child …

I just know it’s not a choice for me … It’s going to happen … And if you ever ask me for a baby … I think I’m going to die of happiness.