S328. And now?


We apologize in advance for the somewhat confused and incoherent story, but currently don’t get it better / shorter on paper …

About 9 months ago I met her, just a small photo on one of the many social media on the internet. The photo did me a favor, I was immediately triggered. It felt familiar and familiar. But because I am not the type that directly approaches people, no further action has been taken.

A few days later contact came from her side. A small message with a photo and a nice conversation arose because I “accidentally” (I don’t believe in coincidence) knew where her very unusual name came from. After a few weeks in which many short messages and comments went back and forth, a “real” conversation started.

During this conversation we soon came to talk about fairly serious matters and the days after that we talked several hours a day with each other. We had contact from early in the morning to late in the evening.

In our conversations, surprisingly similar agreements quickly emerged. We had a very similar childhood (being bullied), both a difficult relationship with parents, exactly the same issues with relationships, and we have a hobby / passion that we share together. But also smaller things such as viewpoints about life, the same preference for holiday countries, food, drink. Furthermore, more and more things happened that started to stand out to us, such as saying the same things (out of the blue) at the same time. It was (certainly for me, who had no experience with spiritual matters until then, and thought it was far from my bed show) occasionally just scary.

A little later we had contact by telephone because I wanted to explain something about a computer program that I had advised her. It felt like I had known her for years and I had spoken to her 100 times. This conversation, which would last 10 minutes, then also extended to almost 2 hours.

She also had this sense of recognition and told regularly that I understood her and that she could at least be herself.

After a few weeks I had to be her home town for work and we agreed to drink a cup of coffee.

Now it is true that I am married, have 2 children and would normally NEVER meet someone or something without my wife’s knowledge, but this was different. It was as if I had no choice, before I knew it happened and it also felt as if it could not be otherwise, and there was no hair on my head that doubted this decision.

We spent an hour drinking coffee and we talked about it and for both it felt like we had been coming together for years, everything went smoothly and felt familiar.

The following week she took a distance. I came too close and I had to take a breather. She didn’t want contact for a few days. Until that moment, we still spoke daily from morning to evening.

She is single and after a relationship where she felt “locked up”, she ended her marriage 4 years ago. She wanted to be herself again. The following years she has had a few dates and 2 short relationships, 1 of which with a married man. In her opinion, this was THE relationship, but he was not willing to take the step and choose her.
This has caused her a great deal of sorrow and she is determined to no longer choose someone who does not go 100% for her. She longs for a man in her life who is there for her and comes by without an appointment and / or sits on the couch with her.

After a few days in which we both held our breath, it started again. We did, however, agree to limit the contact so that we were not in our hands all day with our phones. And although everything had gone so far by itself, we decided that there was no obligation to answer within 10 seconds. This gave her some air and this made her feel a lot better. In the days that followed, the contact was as fast as before, but now she felt better. What also surprised her enormously was that I was still there. For my a very strange comment because why should I not be there anymore. She said that in the past all her contacts stopped when she needed some time.

We have a joint hobby and agreed to photograph together day by day. Incidentally, this was with the knowledge of my wife, but as expected, this raised many questions with her and I was (rightly) subjected to a cross-examination.

Returning to my current relationship, my wife and I have been together for 20 years and have 2 young children (3 and 1. In the past few years a lot has changed in our lives, which makes me feel very locked up. saw things, I felt that I had to make way for the family and the children It is now as if I no longer have time and space for myself while I did before The relationship with my wife has also changed I love a lot of her but in recent years I have had a hard time, she has not had any easy pregnancies (much sick and so on) but during these pregnancies her hormones
This resulted in long (impossible) discussions and arguments. Out of love for her, I also accepted a lot and avoided arguments by doing what she wanted. After the birth of our first child this took at least another year before she recovered a bit, but not long afterwards she became pregnant again and the party started again. So it is not going well here, but I have always kept this quiet for my “buddy” What we had felt special and in my eyes had nothing to do with my relationship.

In the months that followed, we agreed a few times to do something together or eat somewhere. When we are together, time goes 10X as fast and before we blink, the day is over.

From the very beginning of our contact, I felt a strong urge to share what I felt. I did this by sending my thoughts in an email.
I am a terrible thinker by nature, but I didn’t understand this at all.
It felt like we were 1, like we belong together. But why then, and what was the intention and what were those feelings that I felt for her.
I also thought I should tell her how I saw her and sometimes it felt like I was playing the psychologist. And how much I doubted to send the mail, there was always the right response. She also felt many of the things I wrote and things I mentioned about her gave her tools to improve herself as she called it. She really did something with this. The content was always interpreted in the right way and she even liked that I wanted to share it with her. Yes I had no choice, my heart told me to do that and couldn’t stop the urge either.

During one of our conversations she replied “I think we know each other from a past life and we agreed to this”
My first reaction was “Gosh, that actually sounds plausible” and this while I have NEVER been busy with things like this before because I thought it was hocus-pocus. But in one way or another this brought peace to my mind, because there it had become quite a mess in recent months. The emotions and thoughts went from left to right and from positive to negative. It was as if I had landed a roller coaster.

A few weeks went by and it seemed that when I felt calm it became chaos and she didn’t know what to do with it.
During this period I also told her several times that I love her, because I really feel that way. I did feel that I was in love myself, and that she was absolutely the one. I also told her this but she replied that she really loved me but I was married and she missed “the last click”
I didn’t understand this, every brain cell in my head was convinced that this was mutual. I understood her in all areas, we felt everything and I was very wrong here. I knew she was suffering from separation anxiety, but would that be the cause of my misconception? Because everything was negotiable, we also discussed this further and she told me that it would have been very nice if she had had that last “click” but it was not there. These conversations took away the unrest and incomprehension from me and after a few difficult days we continued where we left off.

To summarize the story:
In the following weeks the contact continued unabated. At one point she told me she knew her past lives, she let me read a story about this and it fascinated me enormously. I asked her a lot about this and after that I started reading about it on the internet. During one of these treasure hunts, I came across a website about love for the soul and reading things seemed very recognizable to me.

Because I still felt that I was in love with her, I said that again. Once again there was a good conversation but also unrest in both heads. The following days we talked a lot about this and in the end she told her again about her vision, this was similar to the first confrontation.

In the meantime I have completely got rid of my idea of ​​falling in love and have found enormous peace in the whole story of soul love, soulmates and twinflames. I cannot tell what we have but I recognize a lot of similarity with my experience in all aspects. In recent months she has opened things with me that I no longer saw myself. She inspires me and I even see a change from an emotionally dull guy to the old me step by step. I feel that I am recovering myself, but that has only just begun and I have a strong feeling that said it helps me in this. I feel like a flower bud that slowly opens.

Now she has spoken to a boy from her past and this clicks well. They had a nice conversation and what greatly surprised her was that he was also single. “Finally someone who is not married, they still exist!” Were her literal words. She wants to get to know him better now, but has a hard time with our band. The first few days she concealed it from me because she felt it was a betrayal and deception to me. She finds it very difficult to find a good balance in attention to him and attention to me.

Now I sincerely wish her all the best and I hope she will be very happy.
My head says. “Let her go” while my heart says “we are not ready yet.” I discussed this with her and said it has the feeling that we are not ready.

This came up yesterday and today so it is all still very fresh, but I now doubt very much what to do. My heart says something; don’t let her walk, let her go to investigate, settle for less attention and time and be there for her as soon as it turns out that this isn’t him either. ” ships behind you. Only take the beautiful memories with you. ”

I want to respond to story 328, so much recognition after reading. Very nice to read, I met about 3 years ago, just met someone, I married for 20 years, 2 almost grown up children, not looking for someone else, but certainly not happy in my current situation, which I find so crazy that I would not fall for such a person at all, but there was something in his eyes, we looked at each other very intensely, after which he seemed to slip into my soul or that my soul recognized him, such a familiar feeling, turned my whole life upside down, was never out of my mind for a moment, while I didn’t know him, didn’t exchange a word with him, he triggered an emotion in me, unbelievable. To make a long story short, he turned out to experience the exact same thing over time, and we have had a brief and intense relationship and it turned out that he had everything that I was always unconsciously looking for. It was unbelievable love in an unprecedented amount that this happened to me, I am not at all a type who would be cheating, insecure and far away! emptying, but this was something I could not resist, something so strong, so mutual, yet it ended as fast as it started, and I am broken, I can only think of him, I understand also nothing at all, why did this have to happen, and often I thought I had never met him, but it also opened my eyes, I could not and did not want to continue, I am now divorced and I live alone, a liberation, it has taught me that there is much more in this life, then you will not continue unhappy. But I often wonder in all my insecurity, was this just love at first sight, or just being in love, or something this was something that was predetermined, and did this have to happen, I know I hurt people because of this relationship but the pain that I now have cannot simply be described in words because I was able to taste that love for a long-held dream and longing, and have now lost it again. I often ask myself why, I keep asking myself the same questions, I recognize so much in your story, I want above all else that he is happy, I also want to run away hard, put my head in the sand never think about it again, try to think again to forget. I don’t dare say anything about it anymore because I am afraid that certain people might start recognizing my story, he could eventually be ungrateful! icy and yet I understand it again, not choosing me. In the meantime I have drawn an iron curtain around me, no one can hurt me so much anymore, hurt so much. I no longer pull it. My trust has been irreparably damaged. I am convinced that he is my soul love, and he will always remain in my mind, so that there is no room for another, and now ??? why … .. (sorry if I described it as chaotic, I suddenly got the feeling that I was saying something about this) and now??? why … .. (sorry if I described it as chaotic, I suddenly got the feeling that I was saying something about this) and now??? why … .. (sorry if I described it as chaotic, I suddenly got the feeling that I was saying something about this)