S111. The soul love has brought me a huge confrontation with myself


My twinflame and I told each other two months ago that we love each other. We have known each other for about 5 years and we have always felt this, but have never spoken before. We love each other at all levels of being. The physical aspect is difficult because we both have a relationship. Because of our mutual relationships we miss each other terribly at certain moments. We keep as much contact as possible via e-mail and telephone, and we also meet regularly. We have a love relationship in addition to an existing relationship. We have both decided to keep it a secret to our partners for the time being. Occasionally that feels impossible. For me, the pain of having to miss him is sometimes so bad that my current relationship suffers greatly.

It feels like the most beautiful and at the same time terrible. That sounds crazy, but that’s how I feel. My world is upside down! I am usually quite sober, but now I have to do my utmost to stay with myself. I keep telling myself that I am discovering myself. I am discovering myself as love. The feeling of being so close to someone is overwhelmingly beautiful, sweet, special, but oh so confronting when I let happiness depend on him.

We both experience our current relationships, in which children also grow up, as an obstacle. If we were not in these relationships with children, the decision would be made quickly. Perhaps it will be different in 5 or 10 years. Enjoy the moments that are there for now. We love each other and cannot and will not let go of each other.

Now we have a love affair. Not satisfactory enough, no, because we prefer to be together day and night, but that is not yet possible. Maybe never … That thought alone hurts. So don’t listen to it.

The soul love has brought me a huge confrontation with myself. Feeling alone, wanting to die (while I always had an enormous fear of death) at the same time feeling so much love for everything and everyone. My heart is open. When I see a picture of people who are hungry or war zones I have to cry. I am very moved anyway. I may know love within myself . What he makes me feel is me.

The most special is the experience that we are one. He is me and I am him.
Erotic, Jaaaa, What a passion and gentleness. What a gathering. So intense, I can’t express it in words.
For me it is a soul love feeling; unconditionally. Although he would decide never to leave his wife. I will always love him. I will miss him terribly too. I also notice that loving only gets bigger and therefore missing.

My tip is: enjoy the moments when you can be together. Know that the love you feel is nothing but the love for yourself. Apparently you have grown so far that you can allow this feeling