S093. I feel more intimate with him than with all my friends and husband together


The discovery was a little later but that was with my head, from the inside I had the experience that I could see the whole universe at once in the eyes of someone who was lovingly smiling at me.The second time my body filled with warmth and light, when I joked with my daughter, if I see that man regularly, I no longer need heating. He still fills me with love and light. After that I was able to see him at moments as if it was television. Recently I did not know that he was in the country, then I felt as if my brain was pulled out of my head like gum in the direction where he was. He is also often with a jacket on in my room looking at me when I sleep, sometimes I mum then I just go away again, I recently heard myself say that you do not get tired of standing, sit down.

Because he is younger, when we met, he had 6 years ago all sorts of girlfriends, whom he told me all about, then I knew what I felt for him but not how to deal with it.
The obstacles were that he soon went abroad, and asked me to come to him, but always said he had no time. He then had a girlfriend for a longer period of time, but finally said he did not know what to do with us. A love relationship was not expressed, he was with me a lot and said his friends wondered why they didn’t see him, he said “I don’t know why I come to you so often”. Later I could tell him that I loved him but he found it hard to say so.
He said more than once that everything was so easy between us, and nothing so long ago that he doesn’t know a thing but that everything is fine with me.

A lot has changed recently, after 1.1 / 2 years he had not heard anything from me and I had just had the strength to let him go after a lot of grief, he suddenly stood there asking if / and the message that I could come now. It turned out when I stayed there that his girlfriend knew nothing about this. I now feel that if he introduces her to me, he is afraid that she will know and feel immediately. In the meantime I have told her that I have been there because I do not want to operate behind her back and therefore in the shade, this was very recent, they are now gone and in a kind of crisis that I feel part of. He cried very much and felt very guilty that he did not treat both of us properly.
What it brought me is love that is greater or at least different than for my children and that gives a perfect feeling that makes you feel totally fulfilled and only wants to be together . I think he also experiences this but doesn’t know how to handle it. We are together in a kind of pink balloon and want to stay there.

Special things happen all the time, the first was when we had never spoken to each other before and he came for a long walk with a girl who looked like two drops of water to me, that it seemed as if my heart beat out of my body against his heart as if it were magnets When he was gone I fell through my legs in the corridor and could hardly breathe

Our contact is full of a romantic / erotic tension that is sometimes alternated with super good buddy contact, but always starts again, he hugs me very often but I am very afraid to take the first step to physical sex while I feel more intimate with him than with all my boyfriends and husband together . I think we always have a kind of spiritual connection that we were tired of when I was with him. We sometimes slept until noon. For me,
the feeling of soul love is a totally unconditional overwhelming love that forgives and / or fulfills everything that exceeds everything.

After the outbreak of the crisis, I told him everything that has bothered me in the past few years, he thanked me for that and then asked if he could tell me what he actually feels about me. he said he was too confused to make a statement because he no longer knew what he was feeling and promised to call me next week.

We also have an appointment to visit him again in the month of May. I am very tense about his statement. His new girlfriend looks like two drops of water on me especially the eyes and expression are the same.

My tip is; Enjoy it to the fullest because some people never experience true love in their lives and this is even one degree stronger so as long as it lasts see the beauty of it. I have also experienced that this does more pain in the soul than you ever thought possible, but it remains worth all of this.