S001. I mainly discovered myself


I met her at work in the smoking room. We got along well. I knew I had to do something with her but I didn’t know what. I left the company and friendship developed between us.
Only a year later did I feel that she was a completely open book to me when we saw or spoke to each other. I felt that I knew everything about her and that was impossible because we hardly knew each other because we only saw each other a few times a year. More and more I felt a love with her that I had never felt before. That feeling was completely new to me and became stronger and stronger. At one point, we spoke out to each other that we loved each other. When I was looking up all my feelings on the internet I always came across twinflames. I had never heard of this before. When we were together we felt that deep unconditional love and we felt one. I had another partner then.
My soul love also felt the things that I felt. I also told her that if she didn’t feel it would not be true with me either, I would be crazy. At first I thought she felt it less strong than I did but later she told me she felt it just as strong.
We had a friendly relationship together for a year before that deep love emerged. Then we were able to enjoy our love in a friendly way for another six months and then the problems started.
I wanted a love affair with her and she didn’t want that. For me it was enough if she would not exclude a love relationship by definition. She did exclude that by definition. I didn’t want to see her for a while because it was too difficult for me to keep having to keep my love for her that way. Then she continued to dodge me.
I wanted so badly to do more with our love than we did and she didn’t want that. I couldn’t and did not want to love her a little or show it a little. As a result, I have flooded her too much with my feelings of love and that has only had the opposite effect.
She could not deal with our deep love because of blockages from her past. The love between us was so confronting with the huge thick wall that she had built around her as protection. She could not and did not dare to tear down that wall. She felt more familiar in the fear and pain of that wall.
I wanted a love affair with her because that seemed to me the way to enjoy that crazy love between us as much as possible. And because I thought there were so many opportunities to do much more with that love.
She did not want a love relationship with me. I don’t know the reason for that. It seemed as if she was already panicking at the thought of that. That was somehow a very sensitive issue for her. Maybe she didn’t find me physically attractive enough, or the age difference was too big. It was also our only taboo to talk about our relationship together.
Now we no longer see each other. I still feel connected to her as no one else could ever do. But I can’t do anything with her now. I have the impression that she is avoiding me and wants to block her life. I would like to contact her, but I do not notice that she wants to. And if one of the two does not want it for whatever reason, then it stops.
This soul love has completely changed my life. It has added a new dimension to my life, the existence of which I could not suspect. I broke the long relationship with my girlfriend at the time. I have discovered what spirituality is. I mainly discovered myself for the first time in my life. My essence. She also woke me up very much. Many puzzle pieces fell into place. What we had together was very confronting for both of us. I now feel much more myself, I am much stronger in life and I am much closer to the assignment in my life.
There were many beautiful moments together. All the moments that we were together were great. The silent (or talking) one-feeling in a wonderful feeling of love together on the couch. The feeling of completeness. Moments that you literally feel what the other person is feeling. The things you know about each other without your knowledge, that immeasurable intimacy, purity and authenticity. The confrontations between us where we are each other’s ultimate mirror were also wonderful, that you can see so much of yourself in the other. When we were together I always had to shed some tears.
Although we are both crazy about eroticism, we never experienced that together.
I would describe the soul love feeling as a feeling of oneness, unity, completeness, completeness, fullness. And especially unconditional love to each other. Sometimes we feel as if we have an assignment together. A feeling of strength and love. A sense of infinity and timelessness. The feeling that you are sharing something very special. A privileged feeling.
I experience that we do not see each other now as a loss in my life. As if the most important thing in my life has become unreachable. I have accepted and accepted it. I don’t feel hurt. I feel incomplete.
The relationship has not really ended but I do not notice that she still wants to deal with me in any way.
Yes, I would like to experience that soul love again. I do not believe that I will find it with someone else with the same intensity. I hope to find something that comes close. Something between ‘normal’ love and that one soul love.
Since we no longer see each other, I keep meeting people with similar experiences. In addition, I regularly have a feeling of simple soul contact with people I briefly meet

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In the middle of the night, after the umpteenth tears, I typed “What to do if you love someone dearly?” in the google search bar. I found your stories. Thanks for sharing. The recognition and recognition in your words was nice to read. So I’m not the only one. July 16, 1990, 24 years ago, I met my soulmate. At the time I was not so familiar with love and I took everything for granted. I now know how special it is to have been able to feel this love. On good days it is always a source of inspiration in my life, because love is what life is all about for me. On bad days, like last night, I can’t understand how we walk around on this globe without being allowed to be in contact with each other. He is married, children, home, family, faith, good job .. acknowledging his love for me will turn everything upside down. But I know he is thinking of me too. I have lived abroad for a while and at the time he said that I am his only real other half. But yes, soul love does not thrive on the pain of others and it is nice that his family has survived this crisis. It would also be nice if that remained good. But besides that … last year I was lucky enough to sit opposite each other. What’s so much between us? My heart immediately opened again, it was so nice to feel that I still have so much surrender in me. I feel quite dull most days. When he asked me in that conversation: “What next?” I didn’t ask anything. On the one hand, I am happy that I let nature and purity take its course. On the other hand, I can be amazed that I have not made a new appointment. Every day I think of him, so many thoughts, I go to sleep with it and get up with it. Sometimes I meet him in the car on the provincial road, just a short glimpse, so nice! But even more, I would like our soul relationship to be there too. That we may discover what goes with it. I have so many questions. I don’t want his family to be sad. And I also know that his family has an important karma. Surely there is a way in which contact is possible? His recognition of us was nice. His two worlds, a real one and a silent one. Yet I notice that it does not end. Desires to discover remain. Desires to be recognized openly remain. Desires to stay in touch remain. Somehow I feel that I have to be patient, that we really do meet again. Time is only a strange thing, whether it is in this life … And it is such a shame not to have spoken to each other once in this life. (Unknown)