Q0760. Let go and move on?


I’m not sure what to do? I met my twin a few years ago, we first became friends and then we got into a relationship. But it went too fast and was too intense for him, causing him to do things to screw up the relationship. He often does very tough but is actually a scare. So I know that he was shocked by the intense feelings we felt for each other. He then cheated several times, lied to him and abused my generosity. He was clearly not ready for the love we felt. We broke up, but we both cannot let go of each other. Not that we do anything in the area of ​​love, but we always find excuses for being together, lately mainly in the area of ​​work. Because there too we have an intention to click and complement each other wonderfully. But as soon as I start talking about ‘us’ or hint that I long for more than friendship / work, he laughs away or there arises ee! n big fight. Sometimes we can be really mad at each other, but that is always resolved and forgiven within a day. Everyone says he uses me and that he is a narcissistic egoist and I see that too, but I also see the little lonely boy he is deep down who has built an ego to protect himself. But his ego is so familiar with it and feels so safe for him that he no longer takes off his mask today. On the one hand I don’t want to lose him because he really feels like my other half / my twin and deep in my heart I know we belong together. But living on the other side, being rejected because he is scared and fleeing, is so painful that I just don’t know anymore! ? We now work together so much, even have a starting company, that it is becoming increasingly difficult to cut the knot and let it go. How can you make the situation livable for yourself if you don’t know what to do?

Answer 1
I recognize very clearly what you are saying, my twinflame also shoots right into his ego when I am too open about feelings. The funny thing is that he is the one who always pulls me out of the tent, pulls on me very much because he really wants to hear it and as soon as I am open about this he gets scared and withdraws. (I decided to consciously take a distance again !!) No idea how that would work in practice if we really had an earthly relationship. For every relationship there must be mutual trust, twinflame or not. Whether we will ever get to the point that we can handle it and dare, no idea, time will tell. (F.)

Answer 2
First of all, he is shocked by his feelings. He has never experienced this before and has therefore gone astray to discover whether he also has that “special” feeling with others as with you. It is true that he protects his feelings, because he is not yet sure what exactly he feels for you. If you want to pull his feelings out of him, he will only slam shut. Give him the space and just do fun things together. Let him feel / discover that he cares about you like no other. Trust yourself that you KNOW that he cares about you. Don’t ask any more, give the room and he will eventually tell you that he loves you. (Alicia S.)

Answer 3
I fully understand what you write. Many recognizable sentences. My twinflame has characteristics of a narcissist. What I have discovered that I am too much in my feminine side towards him. So the sensitive side. Now I have further developed my masculine side (the harder side) and this works very well with my twinflame. Don’t be afraid of losing him and, above all, don’t go along with his thing. Remember he wants it on his terms. http://mens-en- Gezondheid.infonu.nl/relatie-en-hrouw/48625-narcisme- characteristics.html and then the link narcissism and relationships. If you read this piece, you will understand what his behavior is. Get well soon. If you can’t figure it out, I will hear from you. (Sanne.)

Answer 4
Hi Sanne, I had already found these pieces on the internet and everything was so terribly recognizable! With someone like that you shouldn’t even want to stay away from anything. When I read it I thought, do I help this? that I come across such a person as a twinflame in this life? I seem crazy that I still long for him too, pffff. Understand then why we are not (yet?) Allowed to come together in this life. But he is very deeply intertwined with me, sits in me in a safe way and we must keep it that way for now. If they think above that we are coming into a relationship together in this life, it still has to be resolved. Time will tell us, I will let it go (not him) and surrender :-). (Unknown)

Answer 5
Answer 4, is it possible that we mail each other? If you send your email address to the editors, they will ensure that it ends up with me. (Sanne)

Answer 6
I don’t know when the piece was written about narcissism, but I still want to add something to it. I myself had a relationship with a narcissist for 3.5 years. If you ask him, he is my soulmate. However, he has never been to me. It was a fierce crush that lasted for years, but in which I had always built in safety. Just before we parted, I had a special meeting. Someone who announced that I would experience the greatest power in the world. I didn’t know then how to explain it until I met L. No lightning, no thundering fireworks, but I was overwhelmed by an all-embracing love. A love that enabled me to show my vulnerability and to show myself to him in all my facets. Gone was safety, Gone was my definition of falling in love, the only thing that I felt was warmth. Sometimes also confusing because I feel his moods 100 km away. But in all its simplicity so beautiful that I can say that we have both become better people. (Unknown)

Answer 7
Hi Sanne, you shouldn’t take it personally but unfortunately I don’t have such pleasant experiences with (anonymous) mail contact, sorry ;-). The only person I want to email with is my twin and he knows where to find me through my private channel. Love (Sanne)

Answer 8
Sometimes you have to let go and free yourself from an illusion. Make sure you don’t confuse your twin with someone with a narcissistic personality disorder. This will save you a whole lot of pain, sadness and false hope. It took me 7 years to finally see this. So dear people, learn more about this subject. (Unknown)

Answer 9
I didn’t need 7 years to see that my twinflame has narcissistic traits. I have entered into a confrontation and have given him the characteristics of narcissism. In the beginning he was angry about it but after some time he started to see that. I now notice that he takes the trouble to deal with it differently. (Unknown)